Beyond Material Gifts: Celebrating Birthdays Through International Travel with Your Teenager

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,458 Welcome to the A World of Difference 2 00:00:04,458 --> 00:00:06,766 podcast. I'm Lori Adams Brown, and this is 3 00:00:06,766 --> 00:00:08,606 a podcast for those who are different and 4 00:00:08,606 --> 00:00:12,942 want to make a difference. Hi there. I'm 5 00:00:12,942 --> 00:00:15,834 coming to you today to talk about my 6 00:00:15,834 --> 00:00:17,726 exciting trip that I took with my teenager 7 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:19,854 on a birthday trip. And the reason I'm 8 00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:21,406 doing this special episode today is 9 00:00:21,406 --> 00:00:23,054 because I've gotten several of you who've 10 00:00:23,054 --> 00:00:25,266 asked me questions about taking my teenage 11 00:00:25,266 --> 00:00:28,646 you're on a 16th birthday trip to Rio. We 12 00:00:28,646 --> 00:00:31,074 just got back not long ago from going to 13 00:00:31,074 --> 00:00:35,622 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, together. Just a 14 00:00:35,622 --> 00:00:38,774 mom teenager trip. And this is something 15 00:00:38,774 --> 00:00:42,050 that was very planned and special, and I 16 00:00:42,050 --> 00:00:43,674 know a lot of you had questions about it, 17 00:00:43,674 --> 00:00:45,978 and I do not at all consider myself to be 18 00:00:45,978 --> 00:00:49,274 a parenting expert. But I do know that 19 00:00:49,274 --> 00:00:51,306 once in a while, I have people in my life 20 00:00:51,306 --> 00:00:53,210 that do things that I also have questions 21 00:00:53,210 --> 00:00:55,566 about, and it revolves around how did you 22 00:00:55,566 --> 00:00:58,286 do that? That's a little bit unusual. How 23 00:00:58,286 --> 00:00:59,598 did you come to that conclusion? How did 24 00:00:59,598 --> 00:01:01,386 it go? What did you learn? Do you have any 25 00:01:01,386 --> 00:01:03,742 tips? So because I've been getting some 26 00:01:03,742 --> 00:01:05,714 questions about it, I thought, you know 27 00:01:05,714 --> 00:01:08,306 what, let's do an episode about this. So 28 00:01:08,306 --> 00:01:10,914 here it is. We're doing ten tips today on 29 00:01:10,914 --> 00:01:12,946 taking a birthday trip with your teenager 30 00:01:12,946 --> 00:01:22,182 as a parent. So, yeah, here we go. Tip 31 00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,914 number one is, from the beginning, I 32 00:01:24,914 --> 00:01:28,034 involved my teen. And so this meant 33 00:01:28,034 --> 00:01:29,558 discussing and involving my teenager in 34 00:01:29,558 --> 00:01:31,926 the trip, planning not only to just 35 00:01:31,926 --> 00:01:33,514 increase the excitement and get buy in, 36 00:01:33,514 --> 00:01:35,174 because any of you who are parenting 37 00:01:35,174 --> 00:01:37,446 teenagers know that sometimes the parent 38 00:01:37,446 --> 00:01:39,094 teenager relationship can be a little bit 39 00:01:39,094 --> 00:01:41,486 fraught at times. And if mom suggests it, 40 00:01:41,486 --> 00:01:43,760 then it may not be the best idea out 41 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:47,934 there. But when I brought up the idea, it 42 00:01:47,934 --> 00:01:52,814 was all around a particular concept of a 43 00:01:52,814 --> 00:01:54,794 place that we could go that I knew that my 44 00:01:54,794 --> 00:01:56,938 teenager would enjoy. Also a place that I 45 00:01:56,938 --> 00:02:00,114 would enjoy. So I threw know pitched the 46 00:02:00,114 --> 00:02:01,954 idea of going to Rio, and it was already a 47 00:02:01,954 --> 00:02:03,474 win from the beginning. Now, that may not 48 00:02:03,474 --> 00:02:05,906 happen for you, but definitely involving 49 00:02:05,906 --> 00:02:07,746 your teenager can help increase the 50 00:02:07,746 --> 00:02:09,494 excitement and ensure the trip aligns with 51 00:02:09,494 --> 00:02:13,106 their interests. It just so happens that 52 00:02:13,106 --> 00:02:14,882 Taylor Swift was going to be playing in 53 00:02:14,882 --> 00:02:17,734 concert in Rio in November, and so it 54 00:02:17,734 --> 00:02:20,466 worked out to know be there for the Taylor 55 00:02:20,466 --> 00:02:22,666 Swift concert, which brought extreme buy 56 00:02:22,666 --> 00:02:24,186 in. Because if you're raising a Swifty 57 00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:25,674 like I am, then, you know, if you know, 58 00:02:25,674 --> 00:02:28,826 you know. So that worked out really well. 59 00:02:28,826 --> 00:02:30,842 And so, yeah, choosing the destination 60 00:02:30,842 --> 00:02:32,646 really was something I sort of did some 61 00:02:32,646 --> 00:02:34,638 legwork on ahead of time. Figured out this 62 00:02:34,638 --> 00:02:36,526 is a place that we could make work 63 00:02:36,526 --> 00:02:38,478 together. And so, fortunately, pitching 64 00:02:38,478 --> 00:02:41,086 the first place worked out. But my husband 65 00:02:41,086 --> 00:02:44,442 is planning a trip with our so we have 66 00:02:44,442 --> 00:02:47,698 twins, right? So the other twin and that's 67 00:02:47,698 --> 00:02:48,974 going to be a completely different 68 00:02:48,974 --> 00:02:50,622 location because that twin wants to go 69 00:02:50,622 --> 00:02:51,906 somewhere completely different. So knowing 70 00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:55,074 your teenager and when you pitch the idea, 71 00:02:55,074 --> 00:02:56,626 making sure it's something that you're 72 00:02:56,626 --> 00:02:58,706 pretty sure they would enjoy, but choosing 73 00:02:58,706 --> 00:03:00,358 the destination number two is that you 74 00:03:00,358 --> 00:03:02,294 want to consider destinations that cater 75 00:03:02,294 --> 00:03:04,166 to both your teenager's preferences and 76 00:03:04,166 --> 00:03:05,654 your own. So if it had been somewhere that 77 00:03:05,654 --> 00:03:07,858 I absolutely hated, I wouldn't have 78 00:03:07,858 --> 00:03:09,702 brought that up. It didn't have to be my 79 00:03:09,702 --> 00:03:11,510 absolute favorite place, but something 80 00:03:11,510 --> 00:03:13,654 that I could somewhat enjoy, too. You 81 00:03:13,654 --> 00:03:14,714 definitely don't want to be the kind of 82 00:03:14,714 --> 00:03:16,074 parent that's like, here's my favorite 83 00:03:16,074 --> 00:03:17,898 place and you try to persuade them to do 84 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,926 it. That's not a good idea. It probably 85 00:03:19,926 --> 00:03:21,430 wouldn't work anyway, and if it did, it 86 00:03:21,430 --> 00:03:23,070 would just make you a really manipulative 87 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:27,066 parent. So don't advise that. But yeah, 88 00:03:27,066 --> 00:03:29,438 finding a win win, hopefully is always 89 00:03:29,438 --> 00:03:31,294 possible, but also finding a balance 90 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,246 between fun activities for them and a 91 00:03:33,246 --> 00:03:35,166 little bit of time for you to relax. Both 92 00:03:35,166 --> 00:03:36,898 of you as well, because especially if 93 00:03:36,898 --> 00:03:38,994 you're going somewhere like we did, 5 94 00:03:38,994 --> 00:03:41,314 hours difference in the time zone and just 95 00:03:41,314 --> 00:03:43,806 the long amount of travel. We flew through 96 00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:46,686 Panama and had a layover in Panama City, 97 00:03:46,686 --> 00:03:48,818 Panama, and then flew to Rio from there. 98 00:03:48,818 --> 00:03:52,270 And it was just a long couple of long 99 00:03:52,270 --> 00:03:53,798 know. So we were tired when we arrived. 100 00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:56,054 And then also the jet lag of five hour 101 00:03:56,054 --> 00:03:57,686 time difference. We wanted to plan in some 102 00:03:57,686 --> 00:04:00,646 time to relax as well as do fun things. 103 00:04:00,646 --> 00:04:02,450 And the third one is budgeting and 104 00:04:02,450 --> 00:04:04,874 planning. Unless you're know the very few 105 00:04:04,874 --> 00:04:06,234 people in the world that have so much 106 00:04:06,234 --> 00:04:07,834 money they don't have to think about that. 107 00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:09,674 Most of us have to stick to a budget and 108 00:04:09,674 --> 00:04:11,738 plan that out. And so discussing that with 109 00:04:11,738 --> 00:04:13,754 your teenager ahead of time is really 110 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,306 important. So that not only are you 111 00:04:15,306 --> 00:04:17,098 teaching them how to be financially 112 00:04:17,098 --> 00:04:18,606 responsible, but you're showing them how 113 00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:20,910 you can have money in your budget for 114 00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:22,746 travel. It just so happens in the Adams 115 00:04:22,746 --> 00:04:24,846 Brown family budget, we prioritize travel 116 00:04:24,846 --> 00:04:26,638 in ways that maybe not everybody does. 117 00:04:26,638 --> 00:04:28,686 It's just a high value for our family. 118 00:04:28,686 --> 00:04:31,326 We're all third culture kids. We've not 119 00:04:31,326 --> 00:04:32,946 grown up in families where we just owned 120 00:04:32,946 --> 00:04:36,100 one home and one place for our whole 121 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:38,806 lives. We grew up traveling and moving 122 00:04:38,806 --> 00:04:40,466 around and travel was important to our 123 00:04:40,466 --> 00:04:41,826 families of origin growing up, and we've 124 00:04:41,826 --> 00:04:43,830 raised our kids that way. So you'll 125 00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:47,378 definitely find in our home, we don't 126 00:04:47,378 --> 00:04:50,774 prioritize home decor or nice cars. We 127 00:04:50,774 --> 00:04:52,586 have really old cars that we drive. We 128 00:04:52,586 --> 00:04:54,650 keep them well maintained. We have a great 129 00:04:54,650 --> 00:04:57,194 mechanic, but we don't spend a lot of 130 00:04:57,194 --> 00:04:59,734 money on things that some Americans might 131 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:02,426 typically spend more money on. And so we 132 00:05:02,426 --> 00:05:06,414 do prioritize travel also. I do have a lot 133 00:05:06,414 --> 00:05:08,410 of skills when it comes to traveling 134 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:10,346 frugally mainly because of my whole life 135 00:05:10,346 --> 00:05:11,822 traveling. So I know how to do certain 136 00:05:11,822 --> 00:05:14,802 things cheaply or use my points here and 137 00:05:14,802 --> 00:05:17,330 there. And so in our difference maker 138 00:05:17,330 --> 00:05:18,946 community, I'm going to go into way more 139 00:05:18,946 --> 00:05:22,146 detail about this trip and how I used some 140 00:05:22,146 --> 00:05:25,746 of my Frugal savvy skills that I've honed 141 00:05:25,746 --> 00:05:27,678 over the years of doing a lot of travel 142 00:05:27,678 --> 00:05:29,174 and learning from other people along the 143 00:05:29,174 --> 00:05:32,978 way in my Expat and TCK life. But because 144 00:05:32,978 --> 00:05:35,138 none of those people sponsor my podcast, 145 00:05:35,138 --> 00:05:37,718 I'll do that for our paid difference maker 146 00:05:37,718 --> 00:05:39,094 community. And if you want to check that 147 00:05:39,094 --> 00:05:43,626 out, you can go to Patreon.com A World of 148 00:05:43,626 --> 00:05:45,862 Difference, and we'll have an exclusive 149 00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:47,482 episode there where I go into way more 150 00:05:47,482 --> 00:05:49,066 detail about where we stayed, how we did 151 00:05:49,066 --> 00:05:50,586 the flights, and how we did all of that to 152 00:05:50,586 --> 00:05:51,946 make it work. So if you're interested in 153 00:05:51,946 --> 00:05:53,086 more detail with that, we'll do that 154 00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:55,262 there. But yeah, budgeting and planning 155 00:05:55,262 --> 00:05:57,486 number three is really important as you do 156 00:05:57,486 --> 00:05:59,242 this trip together, because it not only 157 00:05:59,242 --> 00:06:02,894 teaches your teenager how to plan, and it 158 00:06:02,894 --> 00:06:04,366 also involves them in the decision making 159 00:06:04,366 --> 00:06:05,886 of how you're going to spend the money. 160 00:06:05,886 --> 00:06:08,334 And that always feels better than mom or 161 00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:09,806 dad making all the decisions. And then 162 00:06:09,806 --> 00:06:11,518 you've got a grumpy teenager because they 163 00:06:11,518 --> 00:06:12,738 didn't want to spend the money that way, 164 00:06:12,738 --> 00:06:15,358 and it really was their birthday trip. So 165 00:06:15,358 --> 00:06:17,206 letting them call the shots within reason 166 00:06:17,206 --> 00:06:18,742 and showing them how much different things 167 00:06:18,742 --> 00:06:22,006 cost and showing them different options. 168 00:06:22,006 --> 00:06:25,414 For my teenager, there was a huge desire 169 00:06:25,414 --> 00:06:28,758 to Jet ski. And so that was something we 170 00:06:28,758 --> 00:06:30,726 had hoped we would put into our budget, 171 00:06:30,726 --> 00:06:33,386 and we had that as a plan. But when we got 172 00:06:33,386 --> 00:06:35,734 to Brazil, we realized you have to have a 173 00:06:35,734 --> 00:06:38,278 driver's license in order to drive a Jet 174 00:06:38,278 --> 00:06:42,566 Ski in the ocean in Brazil. So since my 175 00:06:42,566 --> 00:06:44,646 teenager was not yet 16, didn't have their 176 00:06:44,646 --> 00:06:46,766 driver's license yet, we had to say, oh, I 177 00:06:46,766 --> 00:06:49,854 guess we'll do that next time. But we 178 00:06:49,854 --> 00:06:51,534 wanted to make sure together we made a 179 00:06:51,534 --> 00:06:52,878 plan that was something that was fun for 180 00:06:52,878 --> 00:06:56,042 both of us. On the budget number four, 181 00:06:56,042 --> 00:06:57,826 balancing independence and guidance. This 182 00:06:57,826 --> 00:06:59,746 is huge with teenagers. Once again, I'm 183 00:06:59,746 --> 00:07:02,014 not a parenting expert, so go to the 184 00:07:02,014 --> 00:07:03,486 researchers and the people with PhDs 185 00:07:03,486 --> 00:07:05,314 writing books about that out there to find 186 00:07:05,314 --> 00:07:07,506 more detailed information about this. But 187 00:07:07,506 --> 00:07:09,766 I do know the basic parts that teenagers 188 00:07:09,766 --> 00:07:12,214 really crave independence, but they also 189 00:07:12,214 --> 00:07:13,846 might need some guidance here and there. 190 00:07:13,846 --> 00:07:15,526 Their frontal lobes are not yet developed, 191 00:07:15,526 --> 00:07:18,090 and so they might not understand 192 00:07:18,090 --> 00:07:19,514 particular risks involved in certain 193 00:07:19,514 --> 00:07:22,394 things, for example. So, yeah, finding the 194 00:07:22,394 --> 00:07:26,490 right balance between giving them space 195 00:07:26,490 --> 00:07:29,478 and being responsible really is really 196 00:07:29,478 --> 00:07:31,018 crucial in all parenting, but especially 197 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:34,366 in a trip like this, I don't know, like in 198 00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:37,534 my work that I do as a senior manager in a 199 00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:39,562 tech company, I think about stretch 200 00:07:39,562 --> 00:07:41,374 assignments that I give people. And so 201 00:07:41,374 --> 00:07:43,118 think about this birthday trip as an 202 00:07:43,118 --> 00:07:44,986 opportunity for a little bit of a stretch 203 00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,654 assignment with them where you're sort of 204 00:07:46,654 --> 00:07:48,758 doing this model assist, watch and leave 205 00:07:48,758 --> 00:07:50,738 approach with them. So you're giving them 206 00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:51,966 a little more freedom than you would 207 00:07:51,966 --> 00:07:53,074 otherwise give them, but you're not just 208 00:07:53,074 --> 00:07:54,642 like throwing them out of the nest and 209 00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:56,418 saying, bye, do your own thing, because 210 00:07:56,418 --> 00:07:58,038 they do need a little guidance still, 211 00:07:58,038 --> 00:08:02,390 especially at 15, almost 16. So the fifth 212 00:08:02,390 --> 00:08:04,790 thing is just when we think about using 213 00:08:04,790 --> 00:08:06,966 technology during the trip, every parent 214 00:08:06,966 --> 00:08:09,366 does this differently. There's no manual. 215 00:08:09,366 --> 00:08:11,058 My twins were certainly not born with 216 00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,802 little manuals, and we're all trying to 217 00:08:13,802 --> 00:08:16,538 figure this out. I think every parent is 218 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,006 going to want to figure out how to set 219 00:08:18,006 --> 00:08:19,786 boundaries and rules around technology 220 00:08:19,786 --> 00:08:21,546 that they use during the trip to ensure 221 00:08:21,546 --> 00:08:23,598 that they're present and engaged in the 222 00:08:23,598 --> 00:08:25,594 experience. But also, I know that my 223 00:08:25,594 --> 00:08:27,662 teenager really loves a lot of particular 224 00:08:27,662 --> 00:08:31,550 social media and so they wanted to make 225 00:08:31,550 --> 00:08:33,354 sure, especially during the Taylor Swift 226 00:08:33,354 --> 00:08:34,946 concert, they were making videos, that 227 00:08:34,946 --> 00:08:38,290 they wanted to be able to capture that 228 00:08:38,290 --> 00:08:39,426 moment and show their friends when they 229 00:08:39,426 --> 00:08:42,946 got back to school. And so we planned 230 00:08:42,946 --> 00:08:45,598 technology around, bringing extra battery 231 00:08:45,598 --> 00:08:46,946 chargers for phones because we knew we 232 00:08:46,946 --> 00:08:49,606 were going to be in a three hour concert 233 00:08:49,606 --> 00:08:51,526 and get there earlier and be in long line. 234 00:08:51,526 --> 00:08:55,410 So it's going to be like a four plus hour 235 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,846 ordeal in making sure we plan that they 236 00:08:57,846 --> 00:08:59,286 were going to be on their phone while they 237 00:08:59,286 --> 00:09:00,806 were enjoying the concert because that was 238 00:09:00,806 --> 00:09:01,994 sort of the experience they wanted to 239 00:09:01,994 --> 00:09:03,926 have. And that's what it means to be a 240 00:09:03,926 --> 00:09:07,882 teenager in 2023, doesn't it? Also number 241 00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:10,294 six is think through the activities and 242 00:09:10,294 --> 00:09:11,434 experiences you're going to have together, 243 00:09:11,434 --> 00:09:13,630 plan activities that really cater to their 244 00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:16,046 interest. So if they love adventure sports 245 00:09:16,046 --> 00:09:17,786 like I mentioned jet skiing, they love 246 00:09:17,786 --> 00:09:20,590 cultural experiences or just exploring new 247 00:09:20,590 --> 00:09:23,166 places. My teenager and me, we don't have 248 00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:25,074 the exact same preferences. So there was 249 00:09:25,074 --> 00:09:27,234 one morning where my teenager just really 250 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:31,426 was tired and wanted to sleep in. And so I 251 00:09:31,426 --> 00:09:34,286 left them in the hotel to get some extra 252 00:09:34,286 --> 00:09:36,050 sleep that they needed and went on an 253 00:09:36,050 --> 00:09:38,418 early tour from my hotel where they picked 254 00:09:38,418 --> 00:09:40,386 me up and dropped me off. And I did the 255 00:09:40,386 --> 00:09:42,066 Cristo rentor, the big Christ, the 256 00:09:42,066 --> 00:09:44,114 Redeemer Statue, and saw the Maracana 257 00:09:44,114 --> 00:09:46,898 Stadium where the Brazilian football team 258 00:09:46,898 --> 00:09:48,874 plays and where the World Cup was held and 259 00:09:48,874 --> 00:09:52,374 this beautiful cathedral. But my teenager 260 00:09:52,374 --> 00:09:54,154 wasn't super interested in those things 261 00:09:54,154 --> 00:09:56,454 and it was time they'd rather spend 262 00:09:56,454 --> 00:09:59,114 sleeping. So we kind of worked that out 263 00:09:59,114 --> 00:10:01,686 between us. But everything that my 264 00:10:01,686 --> 00:10:03,274 teenager wanted to do, I was there with 265 00:10:03,274 --> 00:10:06,562 them. Because I'm an adult, I did need my 266 00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,398 sleep. But also I was like, I'm in Brazil, 267 00:10:08,398 --> 00:10:09,566 I just want to do it all. We have 268 00:10:09,566 --> 00:10:10,974 different personalities when it comes to 269 00:10:10,974 --> 00:10:12,446 that, so accommodating that with each 270 00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:15,262 other was important. And then also number 271 00:10:15,262 --> 00:10:17,054 seven, it's important to really document 272 00:10:17,054 --> 00:10:19,274 your trip. So I involved my teenager in 273 00:10:19,274 --> 00:10:20,782 this. There were times where I took 274 00:10:20,782 --> 00:10:22,066 pictures and my teenager's like, I don't 275 00:10:22,066 --> 00:10:23,938 like how I look in that photos. And so I 276 00:10:23,938 --> 00:10:25,358 was like, okay, I'll delete that or I 277 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:28,366 won't post that one. But also they took 278 00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:29,718 pictures of me and have videos of me. And 279 00:10:29,718 --> 00:10:31,622 so we were able to document our fun times 280 00:10:31,622 --> 00:10:33,526 together. We went onto Copa Cabana Beach 281 00:10:33,526 --> 00:10:35,814 at night and ate seafood by the beach and 282 00:10:35,814 --> 00:10:38,774 then walked onto the beach and took some 283 00:10:38,774 --> 00:10:40,726 fun photos there. And it's important. 284 00:10:40,726 --> 00:10:42,390 Those are memories that we'll keep 285 00:10:42,390 --> 00:10:44,266 forever. And who knows, maybe my grandkids 286 00:10:44,266 --> 00:10:46,186 great grandkids will see those and see 287 00:10:46,186 --> 00:10:47,946 that we were on Copacabana Beach together 288 00:10:47,946 --> 00:10:51,994 back in the day. When we have a 15 year 289 00:10:51,994 --> 00:10:53,750 old in the photo who's now 80, I don't 290 00:10:53,750 --> 00:10:55,354 know. These are important things to 291 00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:57,642 document. These are once in a lifetime 292 00:10:57,642 --> 00:10:59,258 opportunities. And as our teenagers are 293 00:10:59,258 --> 00:11:00,586 growing up, we want to capture those 294 00:11:00,586 --> 00:11:03,806 moments. It's really important. And then 295 00:11:03,806 --> 00:11:05,760 it also helps to tell the rest of the 296 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,578 family, here's the videos, here's what we 297 00:11:07,578 --> 00:11:09,118 did. And it kind of helps you do the 298 00:11:09,118 --> 00:11:10,386 storytelling process together and relive 299 00:11:10,386 --> 00:11:13,186 it and it's a lot of fun. The 8th one is 300 00:11:13,186 --> 00:11:16,958 to be flexible and anytime there's travel 301 00:11:16,958 --> 00:11:18,626 anywhere, that's important, but especially 302 00:11:18,626 --> 00:11:20,486 with international travel. So being open 303 00:11:20,486 --> 00:11:22,886 to changes and plans or unexpected detours 304 00:11:22,886 --> 00:11:25,670 that could happen, like the jet skiing 305 00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:26,998 obviously didn't work out and we were able 306 00:11:26,998 --> 00:11:30,566 to pivot and do something else. And that 307 00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:32,506 included doing something in the spa, which 308 00:11:32,506 --> 00:11:35,146 was a lot of fun. So we were glad that 309 00:11:35,146 --> 00:11:36,554 that budget could go to something else, 310 00:11:36,554 --> 00:11:40,534 which was super fun. Sometimes the most 311 00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,374 memorable experiences happen when our 312 00:11:42,374 --> 00:11:45,886 plans go awry and we were able to find 313 00:11:45,886 --> 00:11:47,438 some other things to do which we wouldn't 314 00:11:47,438 --> 00:11:50,190 have done otherwise. So number nine is 315 00:11:50,190 --> 00:11:52,506 just respect their wishes. This is a 316 00:11:52,506 --> 00:11:54,334 teenager, it's not an infant. Your teen 317 00:11:54,334 --> 00:11:56,138 may want to spend some alone time and you 318 00:11:56,138 --> 00:11:57,746 don't have to be vigilant with them all 319 00:11:57,746 --> 00:12:00,146 the time. Or if you're in a place where 320 00:12:00,146 --> 00:12:01,506 they know people, they might want to spend 321 00:12:01,506 --> 00:12:03,650 time with their friends during part of the 322 00:12:03,650 --> 00:12:06,738 trip. So just respect their wishes while 323 00:12:06,738 --> 00:12:08,950 you're making sure that they're safe. And 324 00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:13,254 number ten is reflecting and bonding. 325 00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:15,222 After the trip, it's important to take 326 00:12:15,222 --> 00:12:17,346 time to reflect together on our 327 00:12:17,346 --> 00:12:18,994 experiences. And sharing our thoughts and 328 00:12:18,994 --> 00:12:21,000 feelings can really strengthen our bonds 329 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,326 together. I know from my teenager, when my 330 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:25,514 husband asked me about the trip, when we 331 00:12:25,514 --> 00:12:28,058 got back, one of the things I said to him 332 00:12:28,058 --> 00:12:29,962 was we have a very different relationship 333 00:12:29,962 --> 00:12:32,166 now than before we took this trip. And 334 00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:34,078 there's something about this trip that we 335 00:12:34,078 --> 00:12:36,106 had a special bond, just the two of us. 336 00:12:36,106 --> 00:12:38,702 We'd never been just the two of us for 337 00:12:38,702 --> 00:12:41,226 that long, away from the rest of our 338 00:12:41,226 --> 00:12:44,126 immediate family. And also being twins, 339 00:12:44,126 --> 00:12:45,626 this was like the longest they'd been 340 00:12:45,626 --> 00:12:49,394 apart from each other, too. And so it was 341 00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:51,218 very special that we had this time 342 00:12:51,218 --> 00:12:52,834 together, an experience that only we went 343 00:12:52,834 --> 00:12:54,286 through together, especially the Taylor 344 00:12:54,286 --> 00:12:56,306 Swift concert, which was incredible. And 345 00:12:56,306 --> 00:12:58,386 it rained the entire time we got out of 346 00:12:58,386 --> 00:13:00,434 the taxi and there was a guy there selling 347 00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:01,826 ponchos, and we immediately put these 348 00:13:01,826 --> 00:13:04,006 ponchos on and wore them for a while, but 349 00:13:04,006 --> 00:13:06,646 we got soaked. Even his ponchos, it was 350 00:13:06,646 --> 00:13:09,570 just like so rainy and crazy. But my 351 00:13:09,570 --> 00:13:12,310 teenager was such a Swiftie, they were 352 00:13:12,310 --> 00:13:14,646 screaming so much of the time. And then 353 00:13:14,646 --> 00:13:16,186 there's this moment when Taylor Swift came 354 00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:18,906 up and sang right to my teenager, and I'm 355 00:13:18,906 --> 00:13:20,266 not sure they're ever going to get over 356 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:23,206 it. It was pretty crazy during the song 357 00:13:23,206 --> 00:13:26,046 Antihero, which is up for a Grammy, and it 358 00:13:26,046 --> 00:13:27,486 was super special. And we went through 359 00:13:27,486 --> 00:13:28,942 that together, and we experienced that 360 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,318 together. And I think there's something 361 00:13:30,318 --> 00:13:32,958 especially about music and international 362 00:13:32,958 --> 00:13:35,650 travel, trying new foods. We had a lot of 363 00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:38,786 acai, we had a lot of Brazilian steak, 364 00:13:38,786 --> 00:13:42,126 which is amazing, and just fun 365 00:13:42,126 --> 00:13:43,502 experiences. We were in a heat wave in 366 00:13:43,502 --> 00:13:45,298 Rio, where they had to the first night of 367 00:13:45,298 --> 00:13:47,474 the Taylor Swift concert you probably read 368 00:13:47,474 --> 00:13:48,726 about in the news because it was all over 369 00:13:48,726 --> 00:13:51,478 the news. Several people passed out from 370 00:13:51,478 --> 00:13:53,590 the heat, and one person actually passed 371 00:13:53,590 --> 00:13:55,974 away. Her name was Anna. And then the 372 00:13:55,974 --> 00:13:57,526 second night, the Saturday night concert, 373 00:13:57,526 --> 00:13:59,606 they ended up canceling. And our concert 374 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,034 was the next night, the Sunday night, and 375 00:14:01,034 --> 00:14:03,062 it had cooled down about ten degrees 376 00:14:03,062 --> 00:14:06,602 Fahrenheit and then was raining, and so it 377 00:14:06,602 --> 00:14:09,014 was able to go on. And they changed the 378 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:10,682 rule with the stadium where they could 379 00:14:10,682 --> 00:14:13,486 provide free water and open up the airways 380 00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:16,574 a little bit to get more airflow. So it 381 00:14:16,574 --> 00:14:18,186 was great. Other than the rain, we 382 00:14:18,186 --> 00:14:20,026 couldn't complain. We were completely 383 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,914 hydrated. My teenager also got a 384 00:14:21,914 --> 00:14:23,626 friendship bracelet from Sabrina 385 00:14:23,626 --> 00:14:25,258 Carpenter's mom, who Sabrina Carpenter 386 00:14:25,258 --> 00:14:27,258 opened for Taylor Swift, and Taylor 387 00:14:27,258 --> 00:14:28,766 Swift's dad was handing out these Taylor 388 00:14:28,766 --> 00:14:30,418 Swift guitar picks, and my teenager got 389 00:14:30,418 --> 00:14:32,450 one of those too, so it was very special. 390 00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:34,066 So my teenagers coming back, telling all 391 00:14:34,066 --> 00:14:35,826 their teenage friends at their high school 392 00:14:35,826 --> 00:14:40,054 about all they did, and I overhear them 393 00:14:40,054 --> 00:14:42,134 say, and then my mom was there, and it was 394 00:14:42,134 --> 00:14:43,654 really special that I got to experience 395 00:14:43,654 --> 00:14:47,206 that with my teenagers. So, yeah. I offer 396 00:14:47,206 --> 00:14:50,954 all of this to you as just a story of what 397 00:14:50,954 --> 00:14:54,060 we experienced, some tips we came up with 398 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:57,962 together, things that we would do again in 399 00:14:57,962 --> 00:15:00,234 terms of how to do a trip like this and 400 00:15:00,234 --> 00:15:03,646 once again join our difference maker 401 00:15:03,646 --> 00:15:05,354 community. If you want to hear more 402 00:15:05,354 --> 00:15:08,014 details about how I specifically planned 403 00:15:08,014 --> 00:15:10,554 this out by using points and which hotel I 404 00:15:10,554 --> 00:15:13,386 chose, there's a lot of options in Rio 405 00:15:13,386 --> 00:15:14,702 specifically, if you're thinking of going 406 00:15:14,702 --> 00:15:16,218 there. So there's Copacabana Beach. 407 00:15:16,218 --> 00:15:18,794 There's Ipanema. There's another few 408 00:15:18,794 --> 00:15:20,238 smaller, lesser known beaches. All around 409 00:15:20,238 --> 00:15:22,526 and then there's the city of Rio itself. 410 00:15:22,526 --> 00:15:24,782 And so we had all these different choices. 411 00:15:24,782 --> 00:15:26,466 So I'll going to more detail about why we 412 00:15:26,466 --> 00:15:28,406 chose to stay, where we did, what airline 413 00:15:28,406 --> 00:15:30,646 we flew, how we made that work, the routes 414 00:15:30,646 --> 00:15:32,358 we took, and the things we decided to do 415 00:15:32,358 --> 00:15:33,606 when we were there. So we'll talk a little 416 00:15:33,606 --> 00:15:36,034 bit more about that and our Difference 417 00:15:36,034 --> 00:15:37,942 Maker community, which is an exclusive 418 00:15:37,942 --> 00:15:40,198 space where we do a little more deep dive 419 00:15:40,198 --> 00:15:42,598 content for those of you who want to pay 420 00:15:42,598 --> 00:15:44,662 as little as $5 a month to be a part of 421 00:15:44,662 --> 00:15:46,342 it. And we have different tiers of 422 00:15:46,342 --> 00:15:49,414 different exclusive content you can be 423 00:15:49,414 --> 00:15:51,054 able to access there and it's a lot of 424 00:15:51,054 --> 00:15:52,398 fun. We love the difference maker 425 00:15:52,398 --> 00:15:54,350 community. So I do. It means a lot to me 426 00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:55,966 and I appreciate every one of you who are 427 00:15:55,966 --> 00:15:58,446 there and how we go a little bit deeper. 428 00:15:58,446 --> 00:16:00,174 So, yeah, we'll go deeper onto some Lori's 429 00:16:00,174 --> 00:16:01,534 travel tips around this. We'll do a 430 00:16:01,534 --> 00:16:03,070 special episode there just for you 431 00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:05,738 Difference makers. Anyway, I hope this was 432 00:16:05,738 --> 00:16:08,322 helpful. If it was, please let me know 433 00:16:08,322 --> 00:16:10,402 also if you have additional tips or have 434 00:16:10,402 --> 00:16:12,274 taken a trip with your own teenager or 435 00:16:12,274 --> 00:16:14,034 also just love birthday trips in general, 436 00:16:14,034 --> 00:16:17,362 which I personally do most years. When I 437 00:16:17,362 --> 00:16:19,550 ask for something for my birthday, I just 438 00:16:19,550 --> 00:16:21,814 say I want a trip for the last many years 439 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,302 because I'm more of a trip person than a 440 00:16:23,302 --> 00:16:25,922 present person, more of a collector of 441 00:16:25,922 --> 00:16:28,822 memories and experiences and things. So 442 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,278 that means a lot to me and I was glad to 443 00:16:30,278 --> 00:16:33,046 do it with my teenager, too, this time on 444 00:16:33,046 --> 00:16:34,794 16th birthday, which is kind of a big 445 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,338 deal. So, yeah, let me hear from you. Let 446 00:16:37,338 --> 00:16:38,874 us know if you have your own stories, your 447 00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:41,322 own tips. And yeah, in the meantime, I 448 00:16:41,322 --> 00:16:42,886 know there's a lot of travel going on 449 00:16:42,886 --> 00:16:45,758 around this holiday season, so if you have 450 00:16:45,758 --> 00:16:48,206 more tips on traveling in general, let us 451 00:16:48,206 --> 00:16:50,480 know about those on social media. You can 452 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,082 find the Aworld of Difference podcast on 453 00:16:53,082 --> 00:16:55,806 Instagram at aworldof difference. And you 454 00:16:55,806 --> 00:17:01,026 can find us on Twitter at awadpod awodpod. 455 00:17:01,026 --> 00:17:04,354 And you can find me on Twitter at loriadbr 456 00:17:04,354 --> 00:17:08,306 or Instagram at brown. Yeah, we'd love to 457 00:17:08,306 --> 00:17:10,214 hear from you also on threads on both of 458 00:17:10,214 --> 00:17:12,534 those as well. So, yeah, reach out. Let me 459 00:17:12,534 --> 00:17:14,710 know if you have any thoughts around this 460 00:17:14,710 --> 00:17:17,254 episode, if it brought up any stories in 461 00:17:17,254 --> 00:17:19,510 your own experience that you'd love to 462 00:17:19,510 --> 00:17:20,954 share. And we can share tips with each 463 00:17:20,954 --> 00:17:23,062 other about how to take trips with your 464 00:17:23,062 --> 00:17:25,530 teenager, especially on a birthday trip. 465 00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:27,142 Anyway, for all of you who are 466 00:17:27,142 --> 00:17:29,706 celebrating, lots of things out there, 467 00:17:29,706 --> 00:17:31,910 whether it's birthdays, getting ready for 468 00:17:31,910 --> 00:17:34,026 Advent, Christmas, Hanukah, a lot of 469 00:17:34,026 --> 00:17:35,566 Americans just celebrated Thanksgiving. I 470 00:17:35,566 --> 00:17:37,870 know there's a lot of celebrating going on 471 00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:40,734 everywhere. Enjoy time with your family 472 00:17:40,734 --> 00:17:42,926 and loved ones and friends and also take 473 00:17:42,926 --> 00:17:45,086 care of yourself. Hopefully you can get 474 00:17:45,086 --> 00:17:47,490 some rest and enjoy some of this travel 475 00:17:47,490 --> 00:17:49,890 and celebrating too, because a lot of you 476 00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:51,666 difference makers out there are doing a 477 00:17:51,666 --> 00:17:53,346 lot of incredible work around the world. 478 00:17:53,346 --> 00:17:55,954 And I know that sometimes you neglect 479 00:17:55,954 --> 00:17:58,294 yourself. So if that's the case, don't do 480 00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:01,398 that anymore. And this is also another 481 00:18:01,398 --> 00:18:03,574 opportunity to talk about our sponsor for 482 00:18:03,574 --> 00:18:06,438 this podcast, which is BetterHelp. And if 483 00:18:06,438 --> 00:18:09,094 you go to BetterHelp.com Difference, 484 00:18:09,094 --> 00:18:13,194 you'll get 10% off your first month. And I 485 00:18:13,194 --> 00:18:15,690 have really benefited from BetterHelp 486 00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:17,194 because I've been working through some of 487 00:18:17,194 --> 00:18:20,614 my trauma, from working in a toxic work 488 00:18:20,614 --> 00:18:22,406 environment, and my therapist through 489 00:18:22,406 --> 00:18:23,806 BetterHelp has been super helpful. We've 490 00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:27,402 worked through a lot of somatic work, DBT 491 00:18:27,402 --> 00:18:29,806 therapy, a lot of grounding techniques. 492 00:18:29,806 --> 00:18:32,046 All of it has been super helpful to me. So 493 00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:33,870 if you're somebody who struggled with 494 00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:36,218 anything traumatic or difficult, 495 00:18:36,218 --> 00:18:38,974 relational conflict, or just find yourself 496 00:18:38,974 --> 00:18:40,782 getting stuck and needing some help, 497 00:18:40,782 --> 00:18:43,710 please go to WW dot BetterHelp.com 498 00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,720 Difference and get 10% off your first 499 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:48,646 month. And everyone out there keep making