Best of 2023: Naghmeh Panahi's Story of Survival in Iran and Unmasking Hidden Domestic Abuse

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Hi Nagmeh It's great to see you again

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after being together in Chicago very

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recently a it's just wonderful to have you

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on the show today a you for having me It

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was really nice meeting you in person

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after having heard from you from a mutual

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friend That's right.And shout out to

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Benjie Craig for getting us to meet be we

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met in person and in us arrange this

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interview before we ever met kinds person

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And Benji listens to the show So Hi Benji

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Thank you Benji.Yes Thank you Benji

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Everybody knows and loves So yeah it was

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so wonderful to not only meet you but get

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a chance to hear you speak also at the

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Restore Conference and just get to spend a

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lot of time over a And I know you got to

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ride with my husband in the car ride from

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the airport because I ended up having

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another meeting right away as soon as I

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landed.But our conversations really meant

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so much to me at the Restore Conference

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and also getting a chance to get a copy of

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your book which is really already making a

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difference in so many people's lives But

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tell us about your book I didn't survive

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And why you decided to write it.Well

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today. help others I think a who's lived a

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life long enough knows what a journey it

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is I don't think I realize that or many

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people realize that in their maybe twenty

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s And then life hits as you get older And

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I think in through then trials of life a

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lot of times as we go through the fires of

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trials we don't really survive.A lot of

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our way of thinking or things we didn't

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see before like abuse or different things

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just come to light and our old self

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doesn't survive and we become a new person

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Kind of like I describe it to like a

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caterpillar kind of going through this

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cocoon and then becoming a butterfly And I

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think a lot of us walk through life There

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are processes where that happens a we

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really become renewed and changed through

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that suffering Or that trial.It's true And

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you have gone through so many things that

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almost took you out I mean the things a

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you have had to a through would a been

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more than most people face in Tahir

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lifetime And yet you face so many mean the

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beginning I just think of as around child

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the immigrant experience.My husband

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actually just left today He's in La doing

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another one of his trauma recovery

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weekends for some Afghan refugees He's

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flown Abadini, and couple of experts to

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help him do this weekend And so I know

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know the immigrant experience coming from

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able government especially that's so

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intense like where you had to flee and

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Iran is full of its own trauma and

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childhood So tell us a little bit about at

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that was like for you as a child to just

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show up in America after all you had gone

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through.Yeah I actually really enjoy

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working with immigrants and refugees

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because I understand and in a way working

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with them is also healing for me Yeah I

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grew up in war so some of the refugees I

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work with Syrian now afghani and Iraq and

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especially Middle East where I'm from

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really understand just the trauma of war

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and today government that is against you

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And then coming to America to a different

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world I grew up in a world where girls

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went to a different school boys went to a

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different school I was always afraid of

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walking out of the house without a head

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covering.I had really nightmares about it

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her it was just very much Islamic country

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with that world And so coming to America

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was really strange From stores where in

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Iran we had to stand in line for bread to

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the baker or stand in line for meat and

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also we only got coupons You could only

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have so much food because of war and there

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was limits in water We showered once a

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week if that sometimes once heard month

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and everything a just so limited and there

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was always fear know dying.And then

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America I realized one thing that was

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really strange that I realized in my own

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head was for the first time I could dream

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about growing up in Iran I couldn't dream

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about growing up because I didn't knows

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And so I realized when I came to America

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at nine I started dreaming like other kids

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One of the sentences that was strange

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Restore me was kids saying I want to be

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this when I grow up And I thought I've

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never thought about what I want to be when

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I grew up because I didn't even think I

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was going to grow up.And so just the idea

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of dreaming about what I wanted to be and

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the being in school with boys a girls to

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and a girls not have head coverings and

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have makeup I pretty much end of

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elementary and junior high was all the

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makeup and all the craziness So I kind of

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was thrown in that world and having

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boyfriends and Middle Eastern culture a

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just like not normal So feeling kind of

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strange I didn't fit in We came to Idaho

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shortly after and I was the only person

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that was a different color and a lot of

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people thought I was maybe Hispanic They

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couldn't even understand when I would say

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Middle East or Iran.At that time there

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wasn't really lot of refugees or

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immigrants in this part of the country So

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just getting different reactions from

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people whether it was fear of me or a

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little bit of racism or if they were just

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curious but it just felt weird and strange

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a I didn't feel like I fit in And quickly

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I a to learn the culture so I could fit in

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So I guess being embarrassed to speak

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Farsi like if we were out I played a

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little bit of basketball in junior high

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and my dad would say so in Farsi was like

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don't say it Just embarrassment of the

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language or I don't know.Sometimes in

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Middle East there's this thing until you

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get married you don't really do any facial

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hair removal So mean lot of girls that are

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not married a like unibra's and the day

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that you actually get married you do all

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of that And so my mom was still very much

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Iranian so you couldn't shave you couldn't

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do anything much with body hair And it was

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like hard being in this culture coming

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with parents a still had the other culture

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where you don't do anything until you get

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married and you stay pretty natural in

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every way even with picking out your

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eyebrow So I felt comparing myself to this

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culture it felt a little bit shameful.Like

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I wanted to change things about myself to

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become more integrated and feel like more

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American And over the years it's been

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tough because I haven't really felt fully

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Iranian anymore because I grew up in

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America but I haven't So a lot of people

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say I'm sure you feel that way too when

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you've been missionary in another you're

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like I'm really not this culture a fully I

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have against different mindset and

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perspective but I'm not a culture either

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So I'm kind of in the middle.Yeah it can

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be a on the identity right as a child And

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so that whole third culture kid experience

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which you had and I relate to that part

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And my husband and all my kids my husband

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and Islamic and all three of our kids are

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all third culture kids And we don't get

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our identity from had place And typically

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that's the human experience.We get it in

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other ways Exactly in some beautiful ways

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but just some really different ways And I

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happen to live in Los Gados California

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which is right next to Saratoga and

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Saratoga We share a high school district

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Los Gados and Saratoga and there's a lot

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of Iranian Americans here persians in this

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area In fact we are walking distance from

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Visona Park and they have the Iranian New

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Year Festival there in the spring.We went

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last year and had amazing food and there

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was like dancing and singing and there was

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a whole booth amnesty I was there where

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you could send postcards to people who

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were in jail in Iran for various reasons

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And we did that and just a lot just it was

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so fascinating The Persian culture is just

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so ancient and amazing and I could imagine

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as a child showing up in Idaho which is

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very white I wouldn't even know if I could

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survive there Not very yeah that you would

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feel so different I mean to show up as

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Iranian into Saratoga would be a whole

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different experience although still

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challenging.But to show up there must have

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been very hard and traumatic for you at

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times Well we actually lived about

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craziness. year in Bay Area We lived in

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San Jose So I think God gave us that

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transition of because I didn't even know

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my ABCs so I think God gave that

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transition of state that kind of had

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English as a second language where a at

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that time didn't And so I was helped after

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school and there was people that

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understood that there's people here that

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don't speak English.So I had a little bit

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of a transition but still in to Idaho was

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a little bit of a shock.And also I think

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you understand like the warm culture and a

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staying up at night the streets being busy

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and people getting out late at night and

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just like eating dinner at ten and then

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being out at shops possibly because Middle

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East is more warm and so people kind of

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get out more at night And then Idaho is

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like everything shut down a like seven and

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you're like but night is when we socialize

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What do you do And no one socializes at

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night And then each neighbors in their own

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little homes.And in the Middle East you're

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just used to coming in and out of each

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other's home Not just relatives a families

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but neighbors Very much community So there

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was unibra's lot of things that was just

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really strange It took me a while to kind

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of adjust to tehran was twelve about what

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the surrounding cities or areas is around

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12 million people.It's kind of like New

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York So coming from 12 million to like

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100,000 I think or less was also pretty

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shocking I mean I was used to apartments

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and then it was like you can have a whole

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house with a yard A lot of room in Idaho

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It was just a lot of things that were just

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so new to me.Yeah I know so many of our

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listeners can relate to that in various

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ways Even just the warm culture cold

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culture has been something I've been in

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and out of throughout my life Right and so

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a in very warm culture and there's a lot

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of studies on this right Warm culture in

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more relationships more time with your

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relationships Time orientation is very

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different.Cold culture is more scheduled

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Less relationships less time with those

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relationships more time indoors less time

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outdoors So yeah it can very different way

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of living the human life And when you're

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in between those two especially as a child

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it can be really hard I want to ask you

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this because I know that with your

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experience and we're going to get into

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some of what you went through and why

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surviving was harder for you even later in

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life.But I think sometimes there are

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stereotypes that we face and we hear about

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here in the west about Iranian women

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because of some perceptions of women that

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wear hijab that are constantly oppressed

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and that they're weak somehow and a

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vulnerable But you describe in your book

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how your mom was really tough She was one

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of the first women officers in the Shah's

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army We have Narjith Mohammedi who just

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won the Nobel Peace Prize Right We have

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Masa Amini who gave her life for the cause

266
00:12:33,066 --> 00:12:36,238
of women in Iran I feel like my perception

267
00:12:36,238 --> 00:12:38,318
of a women is there's International lot of

268
00:12:38,318 --> 00:12:39,966
strength How do you feel like this has

269
00:12:39,966 --> 00:12:42,074
often gotten wrong And how would you

270
00:12:42,074 --> 00:12:43,326
describe Iranian women overall They're

271
00:12:43,326 --> 00:12:48,418
definitely strong a I grew up in a family

272
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:50,562
where my grandma was one of the first

273
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,866
women to study pharmacy and not a to just

274
00:12:52,866 --> 00:12:55,986
be at home And my mom was the first woman

275
00:12:55,986 --> 00:13:00,342
to be in the military in the Shah's Army

276
00:13:00,342 --> 00:13:03,126
and really broke a lot of glass ceilings

277
00:13:03,126 --> 00:13:07,734
and a lot of things that were not normal a

278
00:13:07,734 --> 00:13:10,266
that time Also Masamini and the woman that

279
00:13:10,266 --> 00:13:13,194
came after there the many martyrs the many

280
00:13:13,194 --> 00:13:16,762
women that were killed for saying I don't

281
00:13:16,762 --> 00:13:19,498
want to wear a head in I don't want my

282
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,614
religion forced on me And so I've met

283
00:13:21,614 --> 00:13:23,982
amazing strong Iranian woman.Yeah.Abusive

284
00:13:23,982 --> 00:13:25,978
governments or abusive people try to

285
00:13:25,978 --> 00:13:28,560
control you think they try to control weak

286
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:31,226
people but it's actually sometimes it's

287
00:13:31,226 --> 00:13:32,798
trying to a strong people Because you

288
00:13:32,798 --> 00:13:36,286
think of about women in Iran having to

289
00:13:36,286 --> 00:13:38,866
wear the hijab or having to conform to all

290
00:13:38,866 --> 00:13:41,166
this they must be weak people It's

291
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:42,626
actually the government I think or even

292
00:13:42,626 --> 00:13:46,006
abusive a which I talk about in my book

293
00:13:46,006 --> 00:13:52,406
they don't always go a the weak They

294
00:13:52,406 --> 00:13:56,854
actually a lot of times go after the

295
00:13:56,854 --> 00:13:59,482
strong It's kind of like a challenge to

296
00:13:59,482 --> 00:14:02,566
subdue them.So it's interesting that women

297
00:14:02,566 --> 00:14:05,146
are so much under attack in the Middle

298
00:14:05,146 --> 00:14:10,214
East now with Afghanistan I work with a

299
00:14:10,214 --> 00:14:12,174
lot of Afghanis For women not to be

300
00:14:12,174 --> 00:14:13,806
educated it's almost like a fear that

301
00:14:13,806 --> 00:14:15,390
these strong women are going to do

302
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:17,258
something I work with amazing women that

303
00:14:17,258 --> 00:14:22,622
have come out of is or some are still in I

304
00:14:22,622 --> 00:14:24,302
work with one who's socializes medical

305
00:14:24,302 --> 00:14:25,874
doctor And she's doing amazing work trying

306
00:14:25,874 --> 00:14:28,206
to continue to educate the woman and

307
00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:29,618
children and build confidence to them.Even

308
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,554
though with this new government there's so

309
00:14:31,554 --> 00:14:37,006
much girls are not allowed to do as much

310
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:38,566
Definitely not educate get a not go out I

311
00:14:38,566 --> 00:14:40,902
think they've banned women from going to a

312
00:14:40,902 --> 00:14:46,486
I mean there's just so much So in a way I

313
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:49,434
think these restrictions are showing maybe

314
00:14:49,434 --> 00:14:50,986
how afraid they are of yeah not that

315
00:14:50,986 --> 00:14:55,098
they're weak.Actually There's a fear of

316
00:14:55,098 --> 00:14:59,098
them know sometimes in fear they try to

317
00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:01,002
shut you down But that's what I

318
00:15:01,002 --> 00:15:05,246
experienced in Iran is the women are

319
00:15:05,246 --> 00:15:06,622
really strong and that's why the

320
00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:08,238
government is so focused on shutting them

321
00:15:08,238 --> 00:15:11,806
down And it's been through women that a

322
00:15:11,806 --> 00:15:13,454
lot of times the Iranian people have

323
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,694
almost brought on Yeah, revolution.Massi

324
00:15:15,694 --> 00:15:17,138
Ali Nizad she's really well known in the

325
00:15:17,138 --> 00:15:18,754
Iranian community She was an Iranian

326
00:15:18,754 --> 00:15:21,634
reporter for the Iranian regime and now

327
00:15:21,634 --> 00:15:23,486
she's an advocate and she's in America and

328
00:15:23,486 --> 00:15:26,454
she's had so many death threats But she's

329
00:15:26,454 --> 00:15:30,066
also warm strong woman There's a lot of

330
00:15:30,066 --> 00:15:33,190
strong women that have stood up to the

331
00:15:33,190 --> 00:15:36,306
government.And you mentioned the Nobel

332
00:15:36,306 --> 00:15:39,894
Peace Prize winner that have really had to

333
00:15:39,894 --> 00:15:42,466
battle Even when you have a strong force

334
00:15:42,466 --> 00:15:44,746
coming against you whether it's government

335
00:15:44,746 --> 00:15:45,914
or it's a religious institution or

336
00:15:45,914 --> 00:15:47,786
whatever you have to really I don't know

337
00:15:47,786 --> 00:15:49,114
be strengthened even more between stronger

338
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,634
to break through So there's a lot of

339
00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:52,942
strong women that are in Iran and outside

340
00:15:52,942 --> 00:15:55,118
of I that are speaking out and being a

341
00:15:55,118 --> 00:15:57,054
voice for the Iranian people Yeah I find

342
00:15:57,054 --> 00:16:00,494
it very inspiring and I find that the more

343
00:16:00,494 --> 00:16:04,290
we highlight the stories of the strength

344
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:07,362
the less we are into this sort of pity

345
00:16:07,362 --> 00:16:08,802
situation that these women need rescuing

346
00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:14,834
and the more we want to partner with them

347
00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:18,606
to let their voices be the ones that speak

348
00:16:18,606 --> 00:16:22,646
I was in Abu Dhabi in March for this

349
00:16:22,646 --> 00:16:24,086
conference.Forbes 30 under 30 and 50 over

350
00:16:24,086 --> 00:16:25,698
50 And I mean obviously being in Abu Dhabi

351
00:16:25,698 --> 00:16:29,298
in Dubai the just army. lot of incredible

352
00:16:29,298 --> 00:16:31,638
women both in that nation And that showed

353
00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:33,386
up because there were women getting awards

354
00:16:33,386 --> 00:16:34,586
Like Malala right who received an award

355
00:16:34,586 --> 00:16:37,174
for her You know having spoken with so

356
00:16:37,174 --> 00:16:39,318
many of the refugees coming out of

357
00:16:39,318 --> 00:16:41,102
Afghanistan to live here in the Bay Area

358
00:16:41,102 --> 00:16:43,594
because we have so many and sitting with

359
00:16:43,594 --> 00:16:50,062
them on the couches definitely their home

360
00:16:50,062 --> 00:16:52,014
and hearing about how educated they were

361
00:16:52,014 --> 00:16:54,682
the great work they were doing and then

362
00:16:54,682 --> 00:16:56,866
suddenly it was all gone.These are

363
00:16:56,866 --> 00:16:57,922
incredibly educated and strong and

364
00:16:57,922 --> 00:16:59,966
powerful women that I do think they're

365
00:16:59,966 --> 00:17:02,702
seen as a threat But I know that that

366
00:17:02,702 --> 00:17:06,338
connection that you just a by a strength

367
00:17:06,338 --> 00:17:07,606
needing to be shut down is something you

368
00:17:07,606 --> 00:17:10,946
experienced unfortunately both in your own

369
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:15,366
home with your husband and from some

370
00:17:15,366 --> 00:17:17,094
Christian celebrity leaders in the

371
00:17:17,094 --> 00:17:19,018
Christian community So describe to us what

372
00:17:19,018 --> 00:17:20,246
it was like to be experiencing domestic

373
00:17:20,246 --> 00:17:23,420
violence from someone who was seen as a

374
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:29,500
good guy a hero a Christian hero and how

375
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:38,286
you were somehow seen as a threat when you

376
00:17:38,286 --> 00:17:40,206
tried to speak out About that came out

377
00:17:40,206 --> 00:17:44,770
about yeah My husband was I guess restrain

378
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:49,154
lot of people found out about him around

379
00:17:49,154 --> 00:17:52,210
2012 2013 when I went to Media.He was

380
00:17:52,210 --> 00:17:54,594
having to who was in prison in Iran And at

381
00:17:54,594 --> 00:17:58,626
the time I came to Media about it which

382
00:17:58,626 --> 00:18:01,206
was my last option we had six months of

383
00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:03,446
working behind the scenes with the lawyers

384
00:18:03,446 --> 00:18:04,694
I worked with and trying to reach

385
00:18:04,694 --> 00:18:07,586
different governments that were friendly

386
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:13,018
with Iran to try to get them. out But

387
00:18:13,018 --> 00:18:15,130
after six months we realized we couldn't

388
00:18:15,130 --> 00:18:18,858
We got to get it out on Media The person I

389
00:18:18,858 --> 00:18:21,786
a then was very much broken.I did not

390
00:18:21,786 --> 00:18:25,326
think I was strong My a had broken me to a

391
00:18:25,326 --> 00:18:27,726
point where I didn't trust my own judgment

392
00:18:27,726 --> 00:18:30,702
I didn't trust words that would come out

393
00:18:30,702 --> 00:18:34,654
of my mouth the way I thought the way I a

394
00:18:34,654 --> 00:18:38,482
the Bible the way I thought about God

395
00:18:38,482 --> 00:18:41,234
anything I thought was controlled by him

396
00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:45,862
And well are you sure I can say like close

397
00:18:45,862 --> 00:18:50,498
to no confidence about how I looked about

398
00:18:50,498 --> 00:18:53,654
what I said And so his time of

399
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,906
imprisonment really gave me break from my

400
00:18:55,906 --> 00:18:58,098
abuser which I know a lot of people that

401
00:18:58,098 --> 00:19:00,762
come out of abuse When you a way, little

402
00:19:00,762 --> 00:19:04,474
bit of a break the fog starts lifting and

403
00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:07,958
you start realizing oh this is what under

404
00:19:07,958 --> 00:19:12,074
And so his imprisonment in Iran I was in

405
00:19:12,074 --> 00:19:13,834
America He had traveled to Iran and then

406
00:19:13,834 --> 00:19:16,254
he'd been arrested for his is faith.His

407
00:19:16,254 --> 00:19:18,126
imprisonment really gave me that break and

408
00:19:18,126 --> 00:19:20,430
to kind of start seeing things And towards

409
00:19:20,430 --> 00:19:22,910
the end of he had been in prison for three

410
00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:25,326
and a half years About almost year before

411
00:19:25,326 --> 00:19:31,458
he got released he got hold of a cell

412
00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:34,574
phone and he started messaging me from

413
00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:38,454
prison And here I was I traveled the world

414
00:19:38,454 --> 00:19:41,106
trying to get him out.I'd met with

415
00:19:41,106 --> 00:19:44,006
President Obama I had been called by Trump

416
00:19:44,006 --> 00:19:46,534
to his office He was just about to run for

417
00:19:46,534 --> 00:19:52,102
presidency and met with him I had been at

418
00:19:52,102 --> 00:19:56,042
the United Nations I was like literally

419
00:19:56,042 --> 00:20:00,478
doing everything I could to get him

420
00:20:00,478 --> 00:20:02,618
out.And here he gets a phone He sees that

421
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:06,160
I am confident I'm not that weak person

422
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:13,026
that he had made me to be And he started

423
00:20:13,026 --> 00:20:17,858
calling me names from prison which was

424
00:20:17,858 --> 00:20:19,634
very confusing When you're trying to help

425
00:20:19,634 --> 00:20:22,494
someone out and they're calling you a

426
00:20:22,494 --> 00:20:24,498
whore or jezebel or you're nobody Don't

427
00:20:24,498 --> 00:20:27,126
think if anyone's clapping for you it's

428
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,960
because of me it's not because of you.So

429
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,974
it was really confusing to me I couldn't

430
00:20:33,974 --> 00:20:37,974
understand it because I had little into no

431
00:20:37,974 --> 00:20:41,526
understanding of abuse And also I want to

432
00:20:41,526 --> 00:20:42,666
say the Christian culture contributed to

433
00:20:42,666 --> 00:20:45,258
that but I also want to say Middle East

434
00:20:45,258 --> 00:20:47,930
Sometimes as that woman in Middle East you

435
00:20:47,930 --> 00:20:54,814
are taught to put up with a lot in

436
00:20:54,814 --> 00:20:58,190
marriage and kind of learn that it's just

437
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:00,106
marriage And of course I was deathly

438
00:21:00,106 --> 00:21:03,978
afraid of divorce as I know many people in

439
00:21:03,978 --> 00:21:05,378
from that region are.A lot of people

440
00:21:05,378 --> 00:21:08,606
outside of Middle East are But as a Middle

441
00:21:08,606 --> 00:21:12,434
Eastern an I know that's such a fear of

442
00:21:12,434 --> 00:21:16,510
having that mark of divorce on you And so

443
00:21:16,510 --> 00:21:18,418
I didn't really see an option out of my

444
00:21:18,418 --> 00:21:20,006
marriage But really God gave me the

445
00:21:20,006 --> 00:21:21,254
strength I became strong.God showed me the

446
00:21:21,254 --> 00:21:23,526
strength that he had built in me Because

447
00:21:23,526 --> 00:21:24,918
when my husband started calling me names I

448
00:21:24,918 --> 00:21:27,974
drew boundary And again at that time I

449
00:21:27,974 --> 00:21:31,766
didn't know it was abuse I said if you

450
00:21:31,766 --> 00:21:34,874
can't be nice to me don't call me from

451
00:21:34,874 --> 00:21:37,354
prison And he actually stopped calling me

452
00:21:37,354 --> 00:21:39,546
a which was really embarrassing because

453
00:21:39,546 --> 00:21:43,438
when the Americans were released from Iran

454
00:21:43,438 --> 00:21:46,494
American hostages I had every media at my

455
00:21:46,494 --> 00:21:50,222
house.I had Reuters I had NPR I had local

456
00:21:50,222 --> 00:21:53,986
and they're waiting for Said to call me

457
00:21:53,986 --> 00:21:57,010
And he's calling everyone else There's

458
00:21:57,010 --> 00:22:01,822
stuff popping up on media Like he just a

459
00:22:01,822 --> 00:22:04,914
Franklin a He just called Jay Seculo.And

460
00:22:04,914 --> 00:22:07,926
it was so as a his wife that had fought to

461
00:22:07,926 --> 00:22:13,046
get him out he did not So my first

462
00:22:13,046 --> 00:22:15,062
boundary was don't a me I didn't say don't

463
00:22:15,062 --> 00:22:20,258
call me I said if you can't be nice to me

464
00:22:20,258 --> 00:22:22,310
And he didn't like that.So no phone call

465
00:22:22,310 --> 00:22:27,082
at all And as the phone calls to I was so

466
00:22:27,082 --> 00:22:29,034
emotionally attached to him I was breaking

467
00:22:29,034 --> 00:22:31,254
down because there was a part of me that

468
00:22:31,254 --> 00:22:33,614
just really wanted to call him back and

469
00:22:33,614 --> 00:22:36,398
really talk to him And so Iran just kind

470
00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:39,086
of threw up in front of this pastor I was

471
00:22:39,086 --> 00:22:41,054
speaking at a church and I was really

472
00:22:41,054 --> 00:22:45,458
struggling.I hadn't talked to Said for a

473
00:22:45,458 --> 00:22:48,786
week I had drawn my first boundary I felt

474
00:22:48,786 --> 00:22:53,554
guilty about it He's in prison Why did I

475
00:22:53,554 --> 00:22:57,138
tell him not to call back And so I just

476
00:22:57,138 --> 00:22:59,046
kind of threw up in front of this pastor

477
00:22:59,046 --> 00:23:02,774
Not throw up throw up But I was like I was

478
00:23:02,774 --> 00:23:06,214
like I don't know what to do And here's my

479
00:23:06,214 --> 00:23:07,960
phone He's sending me all these

480
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:15,334
messages.And I was like this is how he's

481
00:23:15,334 --> 00:23:17,434
it's been from the beginning of our

482
00:23:17,434 --> 00:23:20,422
marriage I just kind of told him

483
00:23:20,422 --> 00:23:24,926
everything And gave lot of times in every

484
00:23:24,926 --> 00:23:25,966
culture when something a in your marriage

485
00:23:25,966 --> 00:23:28,206
you don't tell even your parents because

486
00:23:28,206 --> 00:23:29,406
you think if our relationship mends then

487
00:23:29,406 --> 00:23:32,462
the still going to hate everything I had

488
00:23:32,462 --> 00:23:35,310
not told I just told this pastor.I just

489
00:23:35,310 --> 00:23:37,746
gave him everything And I knew this pastor

490
00:23:37,746 --> 00:23:39,906
Loved said he had called Said a hero And

491
00:23:39,906 --> 00:23:42,994
so his pastor was really shocked But he

492
00:23:42,994 --> 00:23:45,778
gave me break diagnosis He said this is

493
00:23:45,778 --> 00:23:49,334
really shocking.Say it's towards hero And

494
00:23:49,334 --> 00:23:51,126
he said but you're an abused wife And so

495
00:23:51,126 --> 00:23:55,734
when I got that a I read a lot of I just

496
00:23:55,734 --> 00:23:57,746
ordered my whole world blew up because I

497
00:23:57,746 --> 00:23:59,574
realized wow this prison. not like a

498
00:23:59,574 --> 00:24:01,226
normal problem in a relationship like a

499
00:24:01,226 --> 00:24:03,798
headache where you take Advil or Tylenol

500
00:24:03,798 --> 00:24:05,866
This is like cancer that needs to go

501
00:24:05,866 --> 00:24:07,514
through chemo This is not about normal

502
00:24:07,514 --> 00:24:11,018
marriage issue.And so I studied a lot

503
00:24:11,018 --> 00:24:12,398
about Narcissism That's the first time I

504
00:24:12,398 --> 00:24:15,566
heard about the word about abuse And so I

505
00:24:15,566 --> 00:24:19,806
shared with a small group of people like I

506
00:24:19,806 --> 00:24:23,034
emailed and I said I think I'm an abused

507
00:24:23,034 --> 00:24:25,554
wife might have been throughout our

508
00:24:25,554 --> 00:24:28,766
marriage And within hours I had every me

509
00:24:28,766 --> 00:24:31,026
calling me It was leaked to media and said

510
00:24:31,026 --> 00:24:32,994
was still in prison at that time.And one

511
00:24:32,994 --> 00:24:37,906
of the bullies that called me and told me

512
00:24:37,906 --> 00:24:40,214
to be quiet was Franklin Graham And he

513
00:24:40,214 --> 00:24:41,926
really didn't want the story to get out He

514
00:24:41,926 --> 00:24:44,118
said it would damage the cause of

515
00:24:44,118 --> 00:24:46,822
Christianity and that my husband was a

516
00:24:46,822 --> 00:24:51,658
hero understanding that if I was quiet I

517
00:24:51,658 --> 00:24:54,346
was going to have so much I could have so

518
00:24:54,346 --> 00:24:58,838
much fame and money and ministry But at a

519
00:24:58,838 --> 00:25:01,678
time I saw it for what it was and it seems

520
00:25:01,678 --> 00:25:05,440
like that I acted foolishly and I tore

521
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,126
everything down I really lost

522
00:25:08,126 --> 00:25:09,566
everything.But actually it was the best

523
00:25:09,566 --> 00:25:12,926
thing that happened to us We became free

524
00:25:12,926 --> 00:25:14,302
from that lot of that celebrity Christian

525
00:25:14,302 --> 00:25:16,090
culture My children became free of it and

526
00:25:16,090 --> 00:25:19,394
we went back to a normal life which a so

527
00:25:19,394 --> 00:25:21,570
good for me and the children.I've read

528
00:25:21,570 --> 00:25:23,218
your story I've heard your story You

529
00:25:23,218 --> 00:25:26,934
shared this also in your book and you

530
00:25:26,934 --> 00:25:29,430
shared it on the stage at Restore

531
00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:31,286
conference And every me the part about

532
00:25:31,286 --> 00:25:34,534
Franklin Graham comes just I don't know

533
00:25:34,534 --> 00:25:37,554
him But hey Franklin if you're listening

534
00:25:37,554 --> 00:25:39,526
to this podcast you owe that repair to my

535
00:25:39,526 --> 00:25:41,354
friend Nagme because it's so inappropriate

536
00:25:41,354 --> 00:25:43,594
what he and it's I wish it were the only

537
00:25:43,594 --> 00:25:45,926
story I'd ever he similar stopped this but

538
00:25:45,926 --> 00:25:47,994
altogether, darvo situation where they

539
00:25:47,994 --> 00:25:52,590
victim blame and this is part of the

540
00:25:52,590 --> 00:25:56,638
culture at large in the United at is but

541
00:25:56,638 --> 00:25:58,586
it's extremely powerful in celebrity

542
00:25:58,586 --> 00:26:01,098
church culture and domestic violence is

543
00:26:01,098 --> 00:26:02,862
often covered up and women are blamed and

544
00:26:02,862 --> 00:26:06,466
women are told to just suck it up and go

545
00:26:06,466 --> 00:26:10,158
back to the marriage and be quiet In your

546
00:26:10,158 --> 00:26:12,814
case your speaking out so Was.Going to and

547
00:26:12,814 --> 00:26:14,466
maybe Franklin's perspective affect him

548
00:26:14,466 --> 00:26:17,026
somehow but how dare he center himself

549
00:26:17,026 --> 00:26:19,366
when you are the one that needed care And

550
00:26:19,366 --> 00:26:20,706
so I once again don't know if Franklin

551
00:26:20,706 --> 00:26:22,534
listens to this podcast or if any of you

552
00:26:22,534 --> 00:26:25,622
listening have the ear of Franklin Graham

553
00:26:25,622 --> 00:26:29,062
but he owes Nagme calls serious repair and

554
00:26:29,062 --> 00:26:32,214
reparations for what he did to her and her

555
00:26:32,214 --> 00:26:33,546
family Because that's a for anyone but

556
00:26:33,546 --> 00:26:34,666
especially somebody who claims to follow

557
00:26:34,666 --> 00:26:37,002
Christ and to be talk leader in this

558
00:26:37,002 --> 00:26:38,586
community And I'm just so heartbroken with

559
00:26:38,586 --> 00:26:40,586
you that at a time you Needed people to

560
00:26:40,586 --> 00:26:42,678
believe you and surround you and care for

561
00:26:42,678 --> 00:26:44,906
you.Instead they were making you into the

562
00:26:44,906 --> 00:26:46,586
villain And so from that experience what

563
00:26:46,586 --> 00:26:48,926
did you learn from that How are you

564
00:26:48,926 --> 00:26:49,934
processing that now That was pretty

565
00:26:49,934 --> 00:26:51,726
traumatic because Franklin was just not a

566
00:26:51,726 --> 00:26:53,166
big name like Billy Graham's son He had

567
00:26:53,166 --> 00:26:54,158
become a really good friend.He would often

568
00:26:54,158 --> 00:26:56,866
send his private jet and he would take me

569
00:26:56,866 --> 00:26:59,746
to the Billy Graham center to speak or to

570
00:26:59,746 --> 00:27:02,706
the Samaritan's purse And he really turned

571
00:27:02,706 --> 00:27:04,706
on me in an unexpected and he actually his

572
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:07,174
first accusation at me was that I was an

573
00:27:07,174 --> 00:27:10,354
adulteress that in some way I was throwing

574
00:27:10,354 --> 00:27:12,594
said under the bus because I was cheating

575
00:27:12,594 --> 00:27:15,846
don't him and I was wanting to move on

576
00:27:15,846 --> 00:27:17,718
with another person It's so outrageous

577
00:27:17,718 --> 00:27:24,554
which was so crazy And it broke me and I

578
00:27:24,554 --> 00:27:28,346
just cried I was like why would you say I

579
00:27:28,346 --> 00:27:29,946
committed adultery And interesting enough

580
00:27:29,946 --> 00:27:32,026
recently and over the a I've wanted a

581
00:27:32,026 --> 00:27:34,654
friendship So what I share about Franklin

582
00:27:34,654 --> 00:27:37,226
is like seven years out It's not like he

583
00:27:37,226 --> 00:27:39,866
did this And then I was like I was quiet I

584
00:27:39,866 --> 00:27:42,382
kept privately messaging him like hey you

585
00:27:42,382 --> 00:27:44,994
really have picked the wrong yeah I know

586
00:27:44,994 --> 00:27:47,822
you don't like let's try to get you to

587
00:27:47,822 --> 00:27:49,314
understand.His sister and Graham lots

588
00:27:49,314 --> 00:27:52,898
tried to explain things to him And then

589
00:27:52,898 --> 00:27:56,306
recently I think about take year ago the

590
00:27:56,306 --> 00:27:57,666
Washington posted a story on this whole

591
00:27:57,666 --> 00:27:59,158
Franklin Graham thing And what surprised

592
00:27:59,158 --> 00:28:03,846
me the most was he doubled down and he

593
00:28:03,846 --> 00:28:06,022
said yes I called her an adulteress and

594
00:28:06,022 --> 00:28:13,674
yes I would do it again And I was like you

595
00:28:13,674 --> 00:28:15,946
could have said like I learned my lesson I

596
00:28:15,946 --> 00:28:17,046
understand abuse more now.I've seen how

597
00:28:17,046 --> 00:28:20,410
things have played out in the last six

598
00:28:20,410 --> 00:28:23,614
seven years No I just didn't know better

599
00:28:23,614 --> 00:28:27,006
But for him to double down was so if

600
00:28:27,006 --> 00:28:30,126
there's any part of him that ever repents

601
00:28:30,126 --> 00:28:31,838
and wants to step into being and advocate

602
00:28:31,838 --> 00:28:36,562
for the abuse that would be wonderful I am

603
00:28:36,562 --> 00:28:38,386
really in I would love to have him use his

604
00:28:38,386 --> 00:28:40,980
voice instead of suppressing the abused to

605
00:28:40,980 --> 00:28:47,086
lift them up husband to give him the

606
00:28:47,086 --> 00:28:48,838
platform that he has.I would love for

607
00:28:48,838 --> 00:28:51,526
Franklin Graham to give the platform that

608
00:28:51,526 --> 00:28:55,750
he has for abused women and those who've

609
00:28:55,750 --> 00:28:57,446
been abused by the church to speak and

610
00:28:57,446 --> 00:28:59,980
bring awareness and teach the church

611
00:28:59,980 --> 00:29:04,010
There's so much the abuse can teach the

612
00:29:04,010 --> 00:29:07,066
church Yeah anytime he wants to do that

613
00:29:07,066 --> 00:29:08,986
that would be I'm open I don't think he

614
00:29:08,986 --> 00:29:13,766
likes became right now but I do like him I

615
00:29:13,766 --> 00:29:18,870
don't like him but I don't hate him.People

616
00:29:18,870 --> 00:29:21,134
think I came out a I have like this I

617
00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:27,986
don't hate him I'm not mad at him but I

618
00:29:27,986 --> 00:29:30,834
would love for him to repent of the way he

619
00:29:30,834 --> 00:29:32,046
thinks That's actually his way of thinking

620
00:29:32,046 --> 00:29:35,566
is Harming the and I mean you know we have

621
00:29:35,566 --> 00:29:37,894
Franklin the scriptures that we hold dear

622
00:29:37,894 --> 00:29:39,922
the story of Zacchaeus He went and made it

623
00:29:39,922 --> 00:29:42,806
gave he made a when he realized.And so any

624
00:29:42,806 --> 00:29:47,206
day we wake up is a chance to realize we

625
00:29:47,206 --> 00:29:50,442
were wrong and to go and make it right And

626
00:29:50,442 --> 00:29:56,026
that's what we are called to do And I do

627
00:29:56,026 --> 00:29:57,786
hope he finds that moment But I love that

628
00:29:57,786 --> 00:30:02,266
in your heart whether or not that ever

629
00:30:02,266 --> 00:30:08,510
happens you can move on and you can move

630
00:30:08,510 --> 00:30:11,246
forward by moving forward You are an

631
00:30:11,246 --> 00:30:12,206
amazing strong smart articulate strong

632
00:30:12,206 --> 00:30:13,346
with ancestors who are strong.And I just

633
00:30:13,346 --> 00:30:16,434
think that it is so beautiful to see the

634
00:30:16,434 --> 00:30:23,278
beauty from the ashes that has come But at

635
00:30:23,278 --> 00:30:26,530
the same time there's a part of you that

636
00:30:26,530 --> 00:30:29,106
didn't really survive And that's why you

637
00:30:29,106 --> 00:30:31,170
titled your book this way talk about how

638
00:30:31,170 --> 00:30:32,726
you settled on that title and really kind

639
00:30:32,726 --> 00:30:34,646
of what it means to you Yeah I didn't

640
00:30:34,646 --> 00:30:38,690
survive I look at he person I a had to let

641
00:30:38,690 --> 00:30:41,034
go of what lot of my way of thinking of

642
00:30:41,034 --> 00:30:44,058
whether it came from my culture.Having

643
00:30:44,058 --> 00:30:46,186
been raised the first nine years of my

644
00:30:46,186 --> 00:30:48,186
life in a Islamic revolution culture where

645
00:30:48,186 --> 00:30:50,106
women were being shut down and women were

646
00:30:50,106 --> 00:30:51,834
being told that they cannot do certain

647
00:30:51,834 --> 00:30:53,134
things whether the Christian culture that

648
00:30:53,134 --> 00:30:58,254
also said I was to submit And I was to be

649
00:30:58,254 --> 00:31:01,646
a helper And I was to have a quiet and

650
00:31:01,646 --> 00:31:04,542
peaceful spirit and never speak up or be

651
00:31:04,542 --> 00:31:07,650
loud or try to tell men what to do And

652
00:31:07,650 --> 00:31:10,514
that's the culture I was raised in And it

653
00:31:10,514 --> 00:31:13,074
actually worked perfectly with my Middle

654
00:31:13,074 --> 00:31:15,206
Eastern culture.I was like oh really God

655
00:31:15,206 --> 00:31:17,494
had to break me free from all of that

656
00:31:17,494 --> 00:31:20,534
wrong understanding God values women God

657
00:31:20,534 --> 00:31:24,454
he equal I think they're more honored You

658
00:31:24,454 --> 00:31:27,766
see him honoring woman in such at way.You

659
00:31:27,766 --> 00:31:29,206
see Jesus giving great revelations of

660
00:31:29,206 --> 00:31:31,306
worship to the woman by the well to these

661
00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:34,058
women that were there at his grave at his

662
00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:36,678
tomb the revelation of his on I mean I

663
00:31:36,678 --> 00:31:40,426
think he actually played was little bit of

664
00:31:40,426 --> 00:31:42,134
it in the way he honored women in was

665
00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:44,554
culture middle Eastern culture those who

666
00:31:44,554 --> 00:31:47,966
understand understand where women eat in

667
00:31:47,966 --> 00:31:49,790
and different room they sit in a different

668
00:31:49,790 --> 00:31:52,094
room For him to be with them in the same

669
00:31:52,094 --> 00:31:54,386
room and to honor he and talk to them and

670
00:31:54,386 --> 00:31:56,466
have theological discussions about worship

671
00:31:56,466 --> 00:31:59,746
with them.That's not who God is And the

672
00:31:59,746 --> 00:32:02,910
old me didn't survive There was a new me

673
00:32:02,910 --> 00:32:04,994
that emerged from that rediscovering and

674
00:32:04,994 --> 00:32:07,326
understanding who God really sister not

675
00:32:07,326 --> 00:32:11,382
what I was to And seeing how much he

676
00:32:11,382 --> 00:32:13,078
empowered me to be about voice he wasn't

677
00:32:13,078 --> 00:32:16,098
trying Washington shut me down and say you

678
00:32:16,098 --> 00:32:18,582
just need to be what little more gentle

679
00:32:18,582 --> 00:32:21,482
and was little more soft which it's good

680
00:32:21,482 --> 00:32:23,546
for us to be But speaking out about

681
00:32:23,546 --> 00:32:24,746
injustice and speaking out about abuse or

682
00:32:24,746 --> 00:32:26,810
not submitting to abuse doesn't mean we're

683
00:32:26,810 --> 00:32:30,226
not that we're not gentle.But there's

684
00:32:30,226 --> 00:32:32,586
abuse time where you are supposed to speak

685
00:32:32,586 --> 00:32:36,606
out and in to any form of abuse or

686
00:32:36,606 --> 00:32:38,398
corruption or actually doesn't honor God

687
00:32:38,398 --> 00:32:42,782
at all And that was the understanding So I

688
00:32:42,782 --> 00:32:46,770
kind of through the cocoon of suffering I

689
00:32:46,770 --> 00:32:49,134
turned to a different creature an

690
00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,970
butterfly.And I also had to trust in the

691
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:54,754
abilities God had given me to fly to move

692
00:32:54,754 --> 00:32:59,154
forward and not second guess and say am I

693
00:32:59,154 --> 00:33:01,126
crazy Do I really have the ability to

694
00:33:01,126 --> 00:33:03,062
think properly or convey ideas properly

695
00:33:03,062 --> 00:33:05,238
Which was like how my husband had shut me

696
00:33:05,238 --> 00:33:07,826
down I didn't even trust in my own

697
00:33:07,826 --> 00:33:10,522
emotions If I cried the would say you're

698
00:33:10,522 --> 00:33:13,546
trying to manipulate.And I was like am I

699
00:33:13,546 --> 00:33:16,682
trying to manipulate But I'm really sad So

700
00:33:16,682 --> 00:33:18,874
he wouldn't even let me be sad He was

701
00:33:18,874 --> 00:33:21,030
saying by my tears I was trying to

702
00:33:21,030 --> 00:33:23,120
manipulate other people around me or him

703
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,066
So it was like even questioning my own

704
00:33:27,066 --> 00:33:28,958
emotion That's how far I gotten where I

705
00:33:28,958 --> 00:33:32,506
couldn't show any emotion.I didn't survive

706
00:33:32,506 --> 00:33:34,206
I really didn't.But I didn't survive in a

707
00:33:34,206 --> 00:33:36,434
good way The old me the bound me died and

708
00:33:36,434 --> 00:33:39,374
I was set free So beautiful and so much

709
00:33:39,374 --> 00:33:41,874
hope I know that there are people

710
00:33:41,874 --> 00:33:43,762
listening to this who currently are

711
00:33:43,762 --> 00:33:45,614
experiencing abuse and maybe even domestic

712
00:33:45,614 --> 00:33:48,694
violence I know that emotional abuse is he

713
00:33:48,694 --> 00:33:52,806
kind that gets in your head.Having been

714
00:33:52,806 --> 00:33:54,674
one who experienced that at the a of a

715
00:33:54,674 --> 00:33:56,294
couple of celebrity pastors and behind

716
00:33:56,294 --> 00:33:58,246
closed doors in ways that he said she said

717
00:33:58,246 --> 00:33:59,926
And so who's going to be believed The one

718
00:33:59,926 --> 00:34:03,834
with the bigger platform And so when you

719
00:34:03,834 --> 00:34:05,898
have those power dynamics men women that

720
00:34:05,898 --> 00:34:07,434
power dynamic and then your and being seen

721
00:34:07,434 --> 00:34:13,198
as this big deal that people are trying to

722
00:34:13,198 --> 00:34:18,814
rescue him from all over the world and

723
00:34:18,814 --> 00:34:22,846
then the power dynamic of you just being a

724
00:34:22,846 --> 00:34:25,514
woman and being his wife like very

725
00:34:25,514 --> 00:34:27,602
different dynamic that can play into that

726
00:34:27,602 --> 00:34:30,766
And so there's a people listening I'm sure

727
00:34:30,766 --> 00:34:32,366
even women who might be being abused

728
00:34:32,366 --> 00:34:34,226
either in an Islamic context or in a

729
00:34:34,226 --> 00:34:35,678
Christian context or any context what

730
00:34:35,678 --> 00:34:37,080
would you say to that woman listening

731
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:43,526
right now that doesn't know how to get

732
00:34:43,526 --> 00:34:44,966
free.Or doesn't even know they might be

733
00:34:44,966 --> 00:34:47,174
Because probably I recently read a book

734
00:34:47,174 --> 00:34:51,146
called about your body Keeps Yeah I've

735
00:34:51,146 --> 00:34:56,154
read that Like that Yeah.Your body starts

736
00:34:56,154 --> 00:34:57,882
telling you something's wrong you are down

737
00:34:57,882 --> 00:35:00,614
you're depressed There's anxiety even

738
00:35:00,614 --> 00:35:04,094
before you can put the word abuse to it If

739
00:35:04,094 --> 00:35:08,142
it's not physical of course physical

740
00:35:08,142 --> 00:35:09,582
anything physical Christian definitely

741
00:35:09,582 --> 00:35:11,274
abuse Unfortunately having been raised in

742
00:35:11,274 --> 00:35:14,180
a lot of the Middle Eastern culture even

743
00:35:14,180 --> 00:35:16,094
that was questionable But physical for

744
00:35:16,094 --> 00:35:18,562
sure.But emotional psychological is so

745
00:35:18,562 --> 00:35:21,954
hard to see So the abuser's goal is to

746
00:35:21,954 --> 00:35:24,466
control you And so they might use

747
00:35:24,466 --> 00:35:25,894
emotional abuse verbal abuse The Bible as

748
00:35:25,894 --> 00:35:28,950
a Christian the Bible says our words have

749
00:35:28,950 --> 00:35:37,834
the power to kill or bring life So as

750
00:35:37,834 --> 00:35:39,530
Christians we should really give value to

751
00:35:39,530 --> 00:35:45,286
verbal abuse.That's a big deal We

752
00:35:45,286 --> 00:35:51,094
shouldn't be like oh that was just verbal

753
00:35:51,094 --> 00:35:52,974
abuse Because the Bible says it brings

754
00:35:52,974 --> 00:35:56,110
life or death emotional abuse

755
00:35:56,110 --> 00:35:58,446
psychological abuse and using religion

756
00:35:58,446 --> 00:36:01,102
like God to have you submit in spiritual

757
00:36:01,102 --> 00:36:04,846
abuse And so I know that as a Christian

758
00:36:04,846 --> 00:36:06,810
those institutions of marriage or church

759
00:36:06,810 --> 00:36:09,826
were put there to protect and nourish and

760
00:36:09,826 --> 00:36:13,730
nurture and actually help you fly he you

761
00:36:13,730 --> 00:36:17,538
be the best person you can be and not to

762
00:36:17,538 --> 00:36:19,974
squash you and confuse you a cause all

763
00:36:19,974 --> 00:36:23,174
this darkness to come over you So if any

764
00:36:23,174 --> 00:36:24,758
institution whether it's a marriage or

765
00:36:24,758 --> 00:36:26,934
work or religious institution or church

766
00:36:26,934 --> 00:36:29,014
that's not helping you thrive.It's

767
00:36:29,014 --> 00:36:35,034
actually you feel like you're dying inside

768
00:36:35,034 --> 00:36:37,654
You feel this confusion God is not God of

769
00:36:37,654 --> 00:36:39,242
confusion You feel this darkness You're

770
00:36:39,242 --> 00:36:43,054
just really like you maybe repeat to

771
00:36:43,054 --> 00:36:48,126
yourself like I just want to I wish I was

772
00:36:48,126 --> 00:36:51,934
just not alive This feeling despair then

773
00:36:51,934 --> 00:36:53,786
there's something wrong and you need to

774
00:36:53,786 --> 00:36:55,358
get out of that institution And God cares

775
00:36:55,358 --> 00:36:56,706
more about you than you trying to keep

776
00:36:56,706 --> 00:36:58,786
that institution intact So whether it's

777
00:36:58,786 --> 00:37:01,874
things coming out in a church or in a

778
00:37:01,874 --> 00:37:04,046
religious environment or in abuse home and

779
00:37:04,046 --> 00:37:06,338
you're like well if this comes out then

780
00:37:06,338 --> 00:37:09,574
the marriage is going to a apart it's okay

781
00:37:09,574 --> 00:37:11,794
The person's more important.You are more

782
00:37:11,794 --> 00:37:14,578
important than the institution And as a

783
00:37:14,578 --> 00:37:18,346
know I believe God came to save the person

784
00:37:18,346 --> 00:37:20,474
Jesus came to save the person not an.I

785
00:37:20,474 --> 00:37:23,946
think your body starts feeling things even

786
00:37:23,946 --> 00:37:29,942
before you can put the word abuse to it

787
00:37:29,942 --> 00:37:34,574
And you're not in You're not being the

788
00:37:34,574 --> 00:37:38,622
best that you can be that God created you

789
00:37:38,622 --> 00:37:42,414
to be You're actually being kind of pushed

790
00:37:42,414 --> 00:37:45,466
down and you feel fog of confusion and

791
00:37:45,466 --> 00:37:49,486
darkness and you don't know what it is And

792
00:37:49,486 --> 00:37:52,002
you're like Am I crazy I this real God is

793
00:37:52,002 --> 00:37:54,606
God of clarity So I would say if there's

794
00:37:54,606 --> 00:37:56,834
any of that going on if someone would have

795
00:37:56,834 --> 00:37:59,606
said if any of that's going on in your

796
00:37:59,606 --> 00:38:01,686
mind nogma look into abuse look up that

797
00:38:01,686 --> 00:38:03,794
word and see if that's what you're under I

798
00:38:03,794 --> 00:38:06,438
would start with that I would tell people

799
00:38:06,438 --> 00:38:09,574
that that's so good Yeah.There is so much

800
00:38:09,574 --> 00:38:11,882
more research now on the brain and how our

801
00:38:11,882 --> 00:38:21,262
right brain is perceiving a lot of that

802
00:38:21,262 --> 00:38:23,102
before we're cognitively aware of it in

803
00:38:23,102 --> 00:38:29,134
the other side of the left brain And so it

804
00:38:29,134 --> 00:38:33,042
is our body taking in all those messages

805
00:38:33,042 --> 00:38:34,098
our autonomic nervous systems are

806
00:38:34,098 --> 00:38:37,250
responding to Is this person emotionally

807
00:38:37,250 --> 00:38:40,814
safe based on every other interaction I've

808
00:38:40,814 --> 00:38:44,546
had with them And our bodies are keeping

809
00:38:44,546 --> 00:38:46,642
that data so we're not fully cognizant of

810
00:38:46,642 --> 00:38:48,262
it And I think that why paying attention

811
00:38:48,262 --> 00:38:50,662
to our bodies is so important.It's and

812
00:38:50,662 --> 00:38:52,806
message we don't give often in

813
00:38:52,806 --> 00:38:56,038
evangelicalism In fact we say the opposite

814
00:38:56,038 --> 00:38:57,398
Don't trust your body When women's bodies

815
00:38:57,398 --> 00:38:58,918
are a threat you're constantly having

816
00:38:58,918 --> 00:39:02,534
these weird messages and so I think it is

817
00:39:02,534 --> 00:39:04,634
more challenging in those situations Or

818
00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:06,538
like you said in Islam where cover up your

819
00:39:06,538 --> 00:39:08,202
body.It's like an attempt man There's the

820
00:39:08,202 --> 00:39:10,282
nine parts of desire So that's really good

821
00:39:10,282 --> 00:39:12,506
advice And the last thing I want to give

822
00:39:12,506 --> 00:39:15,294
you an opportunity to speak to is what if

823
00:39:15,294 --> 00:39:17,390
there's a pastor in a church a congregant

824
00:39:17,390 --> 00:39:19,600
anybody in a church position where

825
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,694
somebody comes out and says either my a

826
00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:26,274
abusing me the pastor is abusing me Any

827
00:39:26,274 --> 00:39:28,514
forms of abuse whether it's emotional

828
00:39:28,514 --> 00:39:30,578
financial verbal physical sexual anything

829
00:39:30,578 --> 00:39:36,254
what would you say to that person in a

830
00:39:36,254 --> 00:39:39,734
church environment when they've been

831
00:39:39,734 --> 00:39:43,922
taught to just always believe the people

832
00:39:43,922 --> 00:39:48,538
in power Yeah be careful that you're not

833
00:39:48,538 --> 00:39:51,914
trying to save the power or the

834
00:39:51,914 --> 00:39:54,102
institution because that's anti biblical

835
00:39:54,102 --> 00:39:57,386
So anxiety lot of times pastors won't

836
00:39:57,386 --> 00:39:59,114
touch a marriage Even though the woman's

837
00:39:59,114 --> 00:40:01,614
like I'm being abused they're like because

838
00:40:01,614 --> 00:40:05,758
they're like I don't want this marriage to

839
00:40:05,758 --> 00:40:08,970
a apart That's not your job Your job is to

840
00:40:08,970 --> 00:40:11,754
rescue the person that's claiming abuse

841
00:40:11,754 --> 00:40:14,266
which it's very rare for someone to

842
00:40:14,266 --> 00:40:17,426
falsely claim abuser's because it is very

843
00:40:17,426 --> 00:40:18,962
know.I remember when Lorianne Thompson

844
00:40:18,962 --> 00:40:23,106
first came out about it and I went to my

845
00:40:23,106 --> 00:40:25,314
church and I said I don't want any ravi's

846
00:40:25,314 --> 00:40:28,034
teachings here anymore And they're like

847
00:40:28,034 --> 00:40:32,306
Why And I was like this woman's coming out

848
00:40:32,306 --> 00:40:34,214
about it They're like oh they're saying

849
00:40:34,214 --> 00:40:36,374
she's lying It's just why would someone

850
00:40:36,374 --> 00:40:39,078
lie and have their whole life torn apart

851
00:40:39,078 --> 00:40:41,450
and destroyed and their livelihood taken

852
00:40:41,450 --> 00:40:46,854
It is so rare for someone to come out

853
00:40:46,854 --> 00:40:51,774
about abuse. especially about a person in

854
00:40:51,774 --> 00:40:56,814
power or in a marriage where their

855
00:40:56,814 --> 00:41:00,974
marriage would fall apart and just going

856
00:41:00,974 --> 00:41:04,622
through that pain of children custody So I

857
00:41:04,622 --> 00:41:06,946
would say don't jump into conclusion First

858
00:41:06,946 --> 00:41:09,842
of all listen to the one who's claiming

859
00:41:09,842 --> 00:41:13,554
abuse Let it get them to a place of safety

860
00:41:13,554 --> 00:41:15,986
And don't try to worry about whether

861
00:41:15,986 --> 00:41:19,954
institution.What will happen if this news

862
00:41:19,954 --> 00:41:25,222
comes out to the church Your job is not to

863
00:41:25,222 --> 00:41:28,390
keep an institution intact or the marriage

864
00:41:28,390 --> 00:41:31,434
intact Your job especially as is we're

865
00:41:31,434 --> 00:41:34,330
called we are to protect the voiceless the

866
00:41:34,330 --> 00:41:36,602
innocent the oppressed Your job is to

867
00:41:36,602 --> 00:41:38,198
protect them Now if the church falls to

868
00:41:38,198 --> 00:41:39,914
pieces that's between it's.God is not

869
00:41:39,914 --> 00:41:42,858
worried about the church falling into

870
00:41:42,858 --> 00:41:44,206
pieces or marriage falling to pieces God

871
00:41:44,206 --> 00:41:46,302
is worried about god is concerned of

872
00:41:46,302 --> 00:41:48,282
rescuing the person So if you want to

873
00:41:48,282 --> 00:41:51,166
honor God go rescue the person Be out in

874
00:41:51,166 --> 00:41:56,146
the person If in is preventing you from in

875
00:41:56,146 --> 00:41:57,954
to this person and helping them really

876
00:41:57,954 --> 00:41:59,346
seek really think about why.Is it because

877
00:41:59,346 --> 00:42:01,934
you're so afraid of the institution being

878
00:42:01,934 --> 00:42:03,890
affected by it whether marriage more

879
00:42:03,890 --> 00:42:07,046
church So if that's where you're going be

880
00:42:07,046 --> 00:42:08,630
careful You might be following the steps

881
00:42:08,630 --> 00:42:10,070
of pharisees and religious leaders that

882
00:42:10,070 --> 00:42:18,918
Jesus rebuked because they were so

883
00:42:18,918 --> 00:42:21,062
concerned about protecting the institution

884
00:42:21,062 --> 00:42:22,634
of Sabbath that they were like oh

885
00:42:22,634 --> 00:42:25,274
someone's it's like we don't want to help

886
00:42:25,274 --> 00:42:27,402
to God's like are you kidding Like the

887
00:42:27,402 --> 00:42:29,690
institution was set there for the person

888
00:42:29,690 --> 00:42:31,866
It's always about helping the person.Yes

889
00:42:31,866 --> 00:42:34,358
And if somehow you're walking by darkness

890
00:42:34,358 --> 00:42:35,694
broken person and you're not helping them

891
00:42:35,694 --> 00:42:37,374
be careful that you're not the religious

892
00:42:37,374 --> 00:42:40,606
leaders that Jesus called out that is so

893
00:42:40,606 --> 00:42:41,726
concerned about the institution that

894
00:42:41,726 --> 00:42:43,086
they're willing to see someone waste away

895
00:42:43,086 --> 00:42:44,654
whether in said church So that's what I

896
00:42:44,654 --> 00:42:47,794
would say to pastors be careful Make sure

897
00:42:47,794 --> 00:42:49,026
you're not so concerned about the

898
00:42:49,026 --> 00:42:49,938
institution whether it's marriage or

899
00:42:49,938 --> 00:42:51,074
someone claiming abuse by that. religious

900
00:42:51,074 --> 00:42:55,906
leader and really do the call that God has

901
00:42:55,906 --> 00:42:57,982
called you to do which to protect the

902
00:42:57,982 --> 00:43:00,786
press And it might be costly.It might

903
00:43:00,786 --> 00:43:03,158
require you to lay down your life and you

904
00:43:03,158 --> 00:43:05,138
to lose in Well pet Well pet Yeah people

905
00:43:05,138 --> 00:43:07,766
first I mean it hard at times but it's

906
00:43:07,766 --> 00:43:11,186
kind of simple at the same time.So thank

907
00:43:11,186 --> 00:43:13,546
you for that Well how can people find you

908
00:43:13,546 --> 00:43:15,178
and your book and your writing and your

909
00:43:15,178 --> 00:43:18,406
speaking and reach out to you if they want

910
00:43:18,406 --> 00:43:20,074
you to come Just someone actually did this

911
00:43:20,074 --> 00:43:23,626
for me Someone just did a website for me

912
00:43:23,626 --> 00:43:26,318
that a all my information and the work I

913
00:43:26,318 --> 00:43:28,174
do in the Middle East It's nagmepanahi.com

914
00:43:28,174 --> 00:43:31,658
perfect Or they can search my name a they

915
00:43:31,658 --> 00:43:33,598
will find information My social media.Yeah

916
00:43:33,598 --> 00:43:35,666
We'll link that think the show notes for

917
00:43:35,666 --> 00:43:38,338
people to find you Thank you so much for

918
00:43:38,338 --> 00:43:40,594
being on today It's been a true honor for

919
00:43:40,594 --> 00:43:43,122
me to get to know you to start our

920
00:43:43,122 --> 00:43:47,474
friendship and also just to introduce all

921
00:43:47,474 --> 00:43:48,966
these listeners to who you are really

922
00:43:48,966 --> 00:43:50,694
Thank you for being so vulnerable today

923
00:43:50,694 --> 00:43:53,718
both in your writing and a you

924
00:43:53,718 --> 00:43:56,454
shared.Thank you Lori I appreciate you and

925
00:43:56,454 --> 00:43:58,598
I appreciate this connection God has had

926
00:43:58,598 --> 00:44:00,682
abusing have Thanks for being here Nagme

927
00:44:00,682 --> 00:44:02,278
Bye Thank you.Bye undefined undefined

928
00:44:02,278 --> 00:44:05,862
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929
00:44:05,862 --> 00:44:07,466
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930
00:44:07,466 --> 00:44:08,026
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931
00:44:08,026 --> 00:44:08,886
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932
00:44:08,886 --> 00:44:10,086
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933
00:44:10,086 --> 00:44:12,640
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934
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935
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936
00:44:19,070 --> 00:44:21,054
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937
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938
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939
00:44:23,854 --> 00:44:26,282
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940
00:44:26,282 --> 00:44:27,138
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941
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942
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943
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944
00:44:30,546 --> 00:44:32,402
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945
00:44:32,402 --> 00:44:33,406
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946
00:44:33,406 --> 00:44:34,338
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947
00:44:34,338 --> 00:44:35,206
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948
00:44:35,206 --> 00:44:36,006
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949
00:44:36,006 --> 00:44:36,886
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950
00:44:36,886 --> 00:44:38,706
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951
00:44:38,706 --> 00:44:41,058
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952
00:44:41,058 --> 00:44:43,074
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953
00:44:43,074 --> 00:44:45,046
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954
00:44:45,046 --> 00:44:47,654
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955
00:44:47,654 --> 00:44:49,186
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956
00:44:49,186 --> 00:44:49,974
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957
00:44:49,974 --> 00:44:51,286
undefined undefined undefined undefined

958
00:44:51,286 --> 00:44:52,018
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959
00:44:52,018 --> 00:44:52,598
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960
00:44:52,598 --> 00:44:54,278
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961
00:44:54,278 --> 00:44:55,206
undefined undefined undefined undefined

962
00:44:55,206 --> 00:44:56,346
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963
00:44:56,346 --> 00:44:57,206
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964
00:44:57,206 --> 00:44:57,866
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965
00:44:57,866 --> 00:44:58,806
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966
00:44:58,806 --> 00:45:00,346
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967
00:45:00,346 --> 00:45:02,462
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968
00:45:02,462 --> 00:45:03,614
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969
00:45:03,614 --> 00:45:05,338
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970
00:45:05,338 --> 00:45:07,390
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971
00:45:07,390 --> 00:45:09,470
undefined undefined undefined undefined

972
00:45:09,470 --> 00:45:10,782
undefined undefined undefined undefined

973
00:45:10,782 --> 00:45:11,902
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974
00:45:11,902 --> 00:45:13,746
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975
00:45:13,746 --> 00:45:15,474
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976
00:45:15,474 --> 00:45:16,434
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977
00:45:16,434 --> 00:45:17,474
undefined undefined undefined undefined

978
00:45:17,474 --> 00:45:19,474
undefined undefined undefined undefined

979
00:45:19,474 --> 00:45:20,722
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980
00:45:20,722 --> 00:45:23,266
undefined undefined undefined undefined

981
00:45:23,266 --> 00:45:24,766
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982
00:45:24,766 --> 00:45:25,858
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983
00:45:25,858 --> 00:45:27,878
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984
00:45:27,878 --> 00:45:29,298
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985
00:45:29,298 --> 00:45:32,326
undefined undefined undefined undefined

986
00:45:32,326 --> 00:45:32,886
undefined undefined undefined undefined

987
00:45:32,886 --> 00:45:34,214
undefined undefined undefined undefined

988
00:45:34,214 --> 00:45:34,966
undefined undefined undefined undefined

989
00:45:34,966 --> 00:45:37,174
undefined undefined undefined undefined

990
00:45:37,174 --> 00:45:38,086
undefined undefined undefined undefined

991
00:45:38,086 --> 00:45:39,370
undefined undefined undefined undefined

992
00:45:39,370 --> 00:45:40,826
undefined undefined undefined undefined

993
00:45:40,826 --> 00:45:42,170
undefined undefined undefined undefined

994
00:45:42,170 --> 00:45:44,134
undefined undefined undefined undefined

995
00:45:44,134 --> 00:45:45,850
undefined undefined undefined undefined

996
00:45:45,850 --> 00:45:46,922
undefined undefined undefined undefined

997
00:45:46,922 --> 00:45:48,058
undefined undefined undefined undefined

998
00:45:48,058 --> 00:45:49,622
undefined undefined undefined undefined

999
00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:51,194
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1000
00:45:51,194 --> 00:45:52,202
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1001
00:45:52,202 --> 00:45:53,318
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1002
00:45:53,318 --> 00:45:54,854
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1003
00:45:54,854 --> 00:45:56,766
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1004
00:45:56,766 --> 00:45:57,566
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1005
00:45:57,566 --> 00:45:59,546
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1006
00:45:59,546 --> 00:46:00,526
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1007
00:46:00,526 --> 00:46:01,546
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1008
00:46:01,546 --> 00:46:03,034
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1009
00:46:03,034 --> 00:46:04,322
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1010
00:46:04,322 --> 00:46:04,978
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1011
00:46:04,978 --> 00:46:07,538
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1012
00:46:07,538 --> 00:46:08,866
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1013
00:46:08,866 --> 00:46:10,290
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1014
00:46:10,290 --> 00:46:12,142
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1015
00:46:12,142 --> 00:46:13,346
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1016
00:46:13,346 --> 00:46:14,286
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1017
00:46:14,286 --> 00:46:16,962
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1018
00:46:16,962 --> 00:46:18,486
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1019
00:46:18,486 --> 00:46:19,334
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1020
00:46:19,334 --> 00:46:20,482
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1021
00:46:20,482 --> 00:46:21,702
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1022
00:46:21,702 --> 00:46:23,138
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1023
00:46:23,138 --> 00:46:24,166
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1024
00:46:24,166 --> 00:46:25,442
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1025
00:46:25,442 --> 00:46:27,486
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1026
00:46:27,486 --> 00:46:29,014
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1027
00:46:29,014 --> 00:46:30,106
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1028
00:46:30,106 --> 00:46:32,074
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1029
00:46:32,074 --> 00:46:33,626
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1030
00:46:33,626 --> 00:46:35,114
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1031
00:46:35,114 --> 00:46:36,746
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1032
00:46:36,746 --> 00:46:39,750
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1033
00:46:39,750 --> 00:46:40,538
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1034
00:46:40,538 --> 00:46:42,506
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1035
00:46:42,506 --> 00:46:43,578
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1036
00:46:43,578 --> 00:46:45,134
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1037
00:46:45,134 --> 00:46:46,126
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1038
00:46:46,126 --> 00:46:47,582
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1039
00:46:47,582 --> 00:46:48,798
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1040
00:46:48,798 --> 00:46:49,994
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1041
00:46:49,994 --> 00:46:51,082
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1042
00:46:51,082 --> 00:46:53,534
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1043
00:46:53,534 --> 00:46:54,794
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1044
00:46:54,794 --> 00:46:56,162
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1045
00:46:56,162 --> 00:46:57,534
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1046
00:46:57,534 --> 00:46:58,914
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1047
00:46:58,914 --> 00:46:59,826
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1048
00:46:59,826 --> 00:47:01,198
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1049
00:47:01,198 --> 00:47:02,206
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1050
00:47:02,206 --> 00:47:03,106
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1051
00:47:03,106 --> 00:47:04,866
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1052
00:47:04,866 --> 00:47:05,506
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1053
00:47:05,506 --> 00:47:06,946
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1054
00:47:06,946 --> 00:47:07,918
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1055
00:47:07,918 --> 00:47:09,586
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1056
00:47:09,586 --> 00:47:10,966
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1057
00:47:10,966 --> 00:47:12,374
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1058
00:47:12,374 --> 00:47:14,422
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1059
00:47:14,422 --> 00:47:15,414
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1060
00:47:15,414 --> 00:47:16,294
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1061
00:47:16,294 --> 00:47:16,934
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1062
00:47:16,934 --> 00:47:18,310
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1063
00:47:18,310 --> 00:47:19,466
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1064
00:47:19,466 --> 00:47:21,062
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1065
00:47:21,062 --> 00:47:22,394
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1066
00:47:22,394 --> 00:47:23,562
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1067
00:47:23,562 --> 00:47:25,514
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1068
00:47:25,514 --> 00:47:27,114
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1069
00:47:27,114 --> 00:47:28,700
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1070
00:47:28,700 --> 00:47:31,882
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1071
00:47:31,882 --> 00:47:32,506
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1072
00:47:32,506 --> 00:47:33,274
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1073
00:47:33,274 --> 00:47:34,078
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1074
00:47:34,078 --> 00:47:35,726
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1075
00:47:35,726 --> 00:47:36,606
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1076
00:47:36,606 --> 00:47:37,278
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1077
00:47:37,278 --> 00:47:38,174
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1078
00:47:38,174 --> 00:47:39,118
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1079
00:47:39,118 --> 00:47:39,566
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1080
00:47:39,566 --> 00:47:40,480
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1081
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:45,106
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1082
00:47:45,106 --> 00:47:46,082
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1083
00:47:46,082 --> 00:47:47,938
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1084
00:47:47,938 --> 00:47:48,914
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1085
00:47:48,914 --> 00:47:49,986
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1086
00:47:49,986 --> 00:47:51,026
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1087
00:47:51,026 --> 00:47:52,286
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1088
00:47:52,286 --> 00:47:55,554
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1089
00:47:55,554 --> 00:47:56,354
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1090
00:47:56,354 --> 00:47:57,122
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1091
00:47:57,122 --> 00:47:59,602
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1092
00:47:59,602 --> 00:48:00,646
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1093
00:48:00,646 --> 00:48:01,126
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1094
00:48:01,126 --> 00:48:01,846
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1095
00:48:01,846 --> 00:48:02,566
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1096
00:48:02,566 --> 00:48:03,254
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1097
00:48:03,254 --> 00:48:04,566
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1098
00:48:04,566 --> 00:48:06,086
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1099
00:48:06,086 --> 00:48:07,480
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1100
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:09,218
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1101
00:48:09,218 --> 00:48:10,762
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1102
00:48:10,762 --> 00:48:12,186
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1103
00:48:12,186 --> 00:48:13,146
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1104
00:48:13,146 --> 00:48:15,466
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1105
00:48:15,466 --> 00:48:16,186
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1106
00:48:16,186 --> 00:48:18,138
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1107
00:48:18,138 --> 00:48:18,986
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1108
00:48:18,986 --> 00:48:21,726
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1109
00:48:21,726 --> 00:48:23,022
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1110
00:48:23,022 --> 00:48:24,542
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1111
00:48:24,542 --> 00:48:26,462
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1112
00:48:26,462 --> 00:48:29,166
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1113
00:48:29,166 --> 00:48:30,830
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1114
00:48:30,830 --> 00:48:35,810
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1115
00:48:35,810 --> 00:48:39,586
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1116
00:48:39,586 --> 00:48:40,286
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1117
00:48:40,286 --> 00:48:41,746
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1118
00:48:41,746 --> 00:48:42,754
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1119
00:48:42,754 --> 00:48:44,514
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1120
00:48:44,514 --> 00:48:45,138
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1121
00:48:45,138 --> 00:48:45,974
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1122
00:48:45,974 --> 00:48:47,666
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1123
00:48:47,666 --> 00:48:49,542
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1124
00:48:49,542 --> 00:48:50,486
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1125
00:48:50,486 --> 00:48:51,542
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1126
00:48:51,542 --> 00:48:53,862
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1127
00:48:53,862 --> 00:48:55,958
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1128
00:48:55,958 --> 00:48:57,414
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1129
00:48:57,414 --> 00:48:59,126
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1130
00:48:59,126 --> 00:48:59,938
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1131
00:48:59,938 --> 00:49:01,194
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1132
00:49:01,194 --> 00:49:02,154
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1133
00:49:02,154 --> 00:49:03,914
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1134
00:49:03,914 --> 00:49:05,306
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1135
00:49:05,306 --> 00:49:06,554
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1136
00:49:06,554 --> 00:49:07,674
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1137
00:49:07,674 --> 00:49:08,922
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1138
00:49:08,922 --> 00:49:11,454
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1139
00:49:11,454 --> 00:49:12,494
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1140
00:49:12,494 --> 00:49:14,080
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1141
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:16,526
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1142
00:49:16,526 --> 00:49:17,758
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1143
00:49:17,758 --> 00:49:19,594
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1144
00:49:19,594 --> 00:49:20,750
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1145
00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:22,158
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1146
00:49:22,158 --> 00:49:23,426
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1147
00:49:23,426 --> 00:49:24,754
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1148
00:49:24,754 --> 00:49:26,066
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1149
00:49:26,066 --> 00:49:27,058
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1150
00:49:27,058 --> 00:49:27,858
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1151
00:49:27,858 --> 00:49:28,786
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1152
00:49:28,786 --> 00:49:31,780
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1153
00:49:31,780 --> 00:49:35,394
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1154
00:49:35,394 --> 00:49:36,626
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1155
00:49:36,626 --> 00:49:37,326
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1156
00:49:37,326 --> 00:49:38,774
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1157
00:49:38,774 --> 00:49:39,686
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1158
00:49:39,686 --> 00:49:40,786
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1159
00:49:40,786 --> 00:49:41,746
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1160
00:49:41,746 --> 00:49:42,486
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1161
00:49:42,486 --> 00:49:44,242
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1162
00:49:44,242 --> 00:49:46,120
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1163
00:49:46,120 --> 00:49:48,274
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1164
00:49:48,274 --> 00:49:50,566
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1165
00:49:50,566 --> 00:49:52,134
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1166
00:49:52,134 --> 00:49:53,382
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1167
00:49:53,382 --> 00:49:54,426
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1168
00:49:54,426 --> 00:49:55,306
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1169
00:49:55,306 --> 00:49:56,154
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1170
00:49:56,154 --> 00:49:57,034
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1171
00:49:57,034 --> 00:49:59,046
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1172
00:49:59,046 --> 00:50:00,022
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1173
00:50:00,022 --> 00:50:01,518
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1174
00:50:01,518 --> 00:50:04,606
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1175
00:50:04,606 --> 00:50:05,834
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1176
00:50:05,834 --> 00:50:07,120
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1177
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,866
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1178
00:50:09,866 --> 00:50:11,086
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1179
00:50:11,086 --> 00:50:12,206
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1180
00:50:12,206 --> 00:50:14,560
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1181
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:16,866
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1182
00:50:16,866 --> 00:50:17,618
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1183
00:50:17,618 --> 00:50:18,306
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1184
00:50:18,306 --> 00:50:19,634
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1185
00:50:19,634 --> 00:50:21,042
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1186
00:50:21,042 --> 00:50:22,546
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1187
00:50:22,546 --> 00:50:23,806
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1188
00:50:23,806 --> 00:50:24,786
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1189
00:50:24,786 --> 00:50:25,746
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1190
00:50:25,746 --> 00:50:26,950
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1191
00:50:26,950 --> 00:50:28,726
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1192
00:50:28,726 --> 00:50:32,566
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1193
00:50:32,566 --> 00:50:33,206
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1194
00:50:33,206 --> 00:50:34,082
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1195
00:50:34,082 --> 00:50:35,586
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1196
00:50:35,586 --> 00:50:37,366
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1197
00:50:37,366 --> 00:50:38,358
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1198
00:50:38,358 --> 00:50:39,898
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1199
00:50:39,898 --> 00:50:41,882
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1200
00:50:41,882 --> 00:50:43,674
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1201
00:50:43,674 --> 00:50:45,722
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1202
00:50:45,722 --> 00:50:47,642
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1203
00:50:47,642 --> 00:50:48,746
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1204
00:50:48,746 --> 00:50:49,866
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1205
00:50:49,866 --> 00:50:51,422
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1206
00:50:51,422 --> 00:50:52,654
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1207
00:50:52,654 --> 00:50:54,346
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1208
00:50:54,346 --> 00:50:55,514
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1209
00:50:55,514 --> 00:50:57,214
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1210
00:50:57,214 --> 00:50:58,654
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1211
00:50:58,654 --> 00:50:59,662
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1212
00:50:59,662 --> 00:51:01,754
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1213
00:51:01,754 --> 00:51:03,166
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1214
00:51:03,166 --> 00:51:04,706
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1215
00:51:04,706 --> 00:51:06,290
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1216
00:51:06,290 --> 00:51:08,626
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1217
00:51:08,626 --> 00:51:11,518
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1218
00:51:11,518 --> 00:51:12,866
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1219
00:51:12,866 --> 00:51:14,354
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1220
00:51:14,354 --> 00:51:15,586
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1221
00:51:15,586 --> 00:51:17,174
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1222
00:51:17,174 --> 00:51:18,454
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1223
00:51:18,454 --> 00:51:23,234
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1224
00:51:23,234 --> 00:51:24,486
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1225
00:51:24,486 --> 00:51:25,366
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1226
00:51:25,366 --> 00:51:26,166
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1227
00:51:26,166 --> 00:51:28,140
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1228
00:51:28,140 --> 00:51:29,866
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1229
00:51:29,866 --> 00:51:33,020
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1230
00:51:33,020 --> 00:51:35,318
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1231
00:51:35,318 --> 00:51:36,982
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1232
00:51:36,982 --> 00:51:38,554
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1233
00:51:38,554 --> 00:51:40,074
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1234
00:51:40,074 --> 00:51:41,862
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1235
00:51:41,862 --> 00:51:42,974
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1236
00:51:42,974 --> 00:51:44,366
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1237
00:51:44,366 --> 00:51:45,406
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1238
00:51:45,406 --> 00:51:46,126
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1239
00:51:46,126 --> 00:51:47,566
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1240
00:51:47,566 --> 00:51:49,374
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1241
00:51:49,374 --> 00:51:51,520
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1242
00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:54,494
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1243
00:51:54,494 --> 00:51:55,538
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1244
00:51:55,538 --> 00:51:56,498
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1245
00:51:56,498 --> 00:51:57,570
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1246
00:51:57,570 --> 00:51:59,902
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1247
00:51:59,902 --> 00:52:02,110
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1248
00:52:02,110 --> 00:52:02,946
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1249
00:52:02,946 --> 00:52:03,890
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1250
00:52:03,890 --> 00:52:06,094
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1251
00:52:06,094 --> 00:52:08,034
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1252
00:52:08,034 --> 00:52:08,966
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1253
00:52:08,966 --> 00:52:11,442
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1254
00:52:11,442 --> 00:52:12,406
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1255
00:52:12,406 --> 00:52:13,414
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1256
00:52:13,414 --> 00:52:14,806
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1257
00:52:14,806 --> 00:52:16,070
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1258
00:52:16,070 --> 00:52:17,814
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1259
00:52:17,814 --> 00:52:18,646
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1260
00:52:18,646 --> 00:52:19,266
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1261
00:52:19,266 --> 00:52:19,898
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1262
00:52:19,898 --> 00:52:20,570
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1263
00:52:20,570 --> 00:52:22,010
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1264
00:52:22,010 --> 00:52:22,986
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1265
00:52:22,986 --> 00:52:24,042
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1266
00:52:24,042 --> 00:52:25,482
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1267
00:52:25,482 --> 00:52:27,802
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1268
00:52:27,802 --> 00:52:29,818
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1269
00:52:29,818 --> 00:52:31,274
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1270
00:52:31,274 --> 00:52:32,186
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1271
00:52:32,186 --> 00:52:33,446
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1272
00:52:33,446 --> 00:52:34,334
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1273
00:52:34,334 --> 00:52:35,262
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1274
00:52:35,262 --> 00:52:36,206
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1275
00:52:36,206 --> 00:52:37,118
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1276
00:52:37,118 --> 00:52:38,606
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1277
00:52:38,606 --> 00:52:40,042
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1278
00:52:40,042 --> 00:52:41,886
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1279
00:52:41,886 --> 00:52:42,814
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1280
00:52:42,814 --> 00:52:44,766
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1281
00:52:44,766 --> 00:52:46,462
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1282
00:52:46,462 --> 00:52:47,730
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1283
00:52:47,730 --> 00:52:49,378
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1284
00:52:49,378 --> 00:52:50,098
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1285
00:52:50,098 --> 00:52:50,770
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1286
00:52:50,770 --> 00:52:51,426
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1287
00:52:51,426 --> 00:52:52,306
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1288
00:52:52,306 --> 00:52:53,486
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1289
00:52:53,486 --> 00:52:55,634
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1290
00:52:55,634 --> 00:52:56,734
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1291
00:52:56,734 --> 00:52:59,334
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1292
00:52:59,334 --> 00:52:59,846
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1293
00:52:59,846 --> 00:53:01,106
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1294
00:53:01,106 --> 00:53:01,974
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1295
00:53:01,974 --> 00:53:03,046
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1296
00:53:03,046 --> 00:53:03,734
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1297
00:53:03,734 --> 00:53:05,430
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1298
00:53:05,430 --> 00:53:06,966
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1299
00:53:06,966 --> 00:53:08,422
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1300
00:53:08,422 --> 00:53:09,458
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1301
00:53:09,458 --> 00:53:10,154
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1302
00:53:10,154 --> 00:53:12,054
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1303
00:53:12,054 --> 00:53:14,058
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1304
00:53:14,058 --> 00:53:17,018
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1305
00:53:17,018 --> 00:53:17,898
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1306
00:53:17,898 --> 00:53:18,458
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1307
00:53:18,458 --> 00:53:19,226
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1308
00:53:19,226 --> 00:53:20,922
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1309
00:53:20,922 --> 00:53:23,274
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1310
00:53:23,274 --> 00:53:24,602
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1311
00:53:24,602 --> 00:53:25,902
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1312
00:53:25,902 --> 00:53:26,894
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1313
00:53:26,894 --> 00:53:27,518
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1314
00:53:27,518 --> 00:53:28,606
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1315
00:53:28,606 --> 00:53:29,674
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1316
00:53:29,674 --> 00:53:30,906
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1317
00:53:30,906 --> 00:53:32,750
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1318
00:53:32,750 --> 00:53:35,286
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1319
00:53:35,286 --> 00:53:36,162
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1320
00:53:36,162 --> 00:53:37,890
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1321
00:53:37,890 --> 00:53:39,186
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1322
00:53:39,186 --> 00:53:40,722
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1323
00:53:40,722 --> 00:53:41,682
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1324
00:53:41,682 --> 00:53:42,962
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1325
00:53:42,962 --> 00:53:44,402
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1326
00:53:44,402 --> 00:53:45,394
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1327
00:53:45,394 --> 00:53:46,642
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1328
00:53:46,642 --> 00:53:48,194
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1329
00:53:48,194 --> 00:53:49,174
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1330
00:53:49,174 --> 00:53:49,926
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1331
00:53:49,926 --> 00:53:52,486
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1332
00:53:52,486 --> 00:53:54,726
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1333
00:53:54,726 --> 00:53:55,926
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1334
00:53:55,926 --> 00:53:56,726
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1335
00:53:56,726 --> 00:53:57,574
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1336
00:53:57,574 --> 00:53:58,854
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1337
00:53:58,854 --> 00:53:59,638
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1338
00:53:59,638 --> 00:54:00,354
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1339
00:54:00,354 --> 00:54:00,886
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1340
00:54:00,886 --> 00:54:01,626
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1341
00:54:01,626 --> 00:54:02,506
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1342
00:54:02,506 --> 00:54:03,354
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1343
00:54:03,354 --> 00:54:04,234
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1344
00:54:04,234 --> 00:54:06,266
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1345
00:54:06,266 --> 00:54:08,314
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1346
00:54:08,314 --> 00:54:09,274
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1347
00:54:09,274 --> 00:54:09,962
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1348
00:54:09,962 --> 00:54:11,386
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1349
00:54:11,386 --> 00:54:12,542
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1350
00:54:12,542 --> 00:54:13,834
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1351
00:54:13,834 --> 00:54:15,134
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1352
00:54:15,134 --> 00:54:17,738
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1353
00:54:17,738 --> 00:54:18,922
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1354
00:54:18,922 --> 00:54:20,794
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1355
00:54:20,794 --> 00:54:21,694
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1356
00:54:21,694 --> 00:54:23,262
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1357
00:54:23,262 --> 00:54:23,966
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1358
00:54:23,966 --> 00:54:25,294
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1359
00:54:25,294 --> 00:54:26,914
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1360
00:54:26,914 --> 00:54:29,554
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1361
00:54:29,554 --> 00:54:30,434
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1362
00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:31,794
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1363
00:54:31,794 --> 00:54:32,466
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1364
00:54:32,466 --> 00:54:33,362
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1365
00:54:33,362 --> 00:54:34,226
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1366
00:54:34,226 --> 00:54:35,442
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1367
00:54:35,442 --> 00:54:36,706
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1368
00:54:36,706 --> 00:54:37,426
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1369
00:54:37,426 --> 00:54:38,354
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1370
00:54:38,354 --> 00:54:39,202
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1371
00:54:39,202 --> 00:54:39,894
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1372
00:54:39,894 --> 00:54:40,758
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1373
00:54:40,758 --> 00:54:41,382
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1374
00:54:41,382 --> 00:54:42,966
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1375
00:54:42,966 --> 00:54:44,162
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1376
00:54:44,162 --> 00:54:45,186
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1377
00:54:45,186 --> 00:54:46,614
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1378
00:54:46,614 --> 00:54:47,794
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1379
00:54:47,794 --> 00:54:48,614
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1380
00:54:48,614 --> 00:54:50,134
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1381
00:54:50,134 --> 00:54:50,998
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1382
00:54:50,998 --> 00:54:51,786
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1383
00:54:51,786 --> 00:54:52,746
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1384
00:54:52,746 --> 00:54:53,658
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1385
00:54:53,658 --> 00:54:54,778
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1386
00:54:54,778 --> 00:54:55,866
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1387
00:54:55,866 --> 00:54:57,274
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1388
00:54:57,274 --> 00:55:00,006
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1389
00:55:00,006 --> 00:55:01,002
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1390
00:55:01,002 --> 00:55:02,700
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1391
00:55:02,700 --> 00:55:05,006
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1392
00:55:05,006 --> 00:55:06,126
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1393
00:55:06,126 --> 00:55:07,118
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1394
00:55:07,118 --> 00:55:08,462
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1395
00:55:08,462 --> 00:55:10,014
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1396
00:55:10,014 --> 00:55:11,274
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1397
00:55:11,274 --> 00:55:12,234
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1398
00:55:12,234 --> 00:55:12,958
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1399
00:55:12,958 --> 00:55:13,518
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1400
00:55:13,518 --> 00:55:15,194
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1401
00:55:15,194 --> 00:55:15,918
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1402
00:55:15,918 --> 00:55:16,574
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1403
00:55:16,574 --> 00:55:17,794
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1404
00:55:17,794 --> 00:55:18,626
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1405
00:55:18,626 --> 00:55:19,762
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1406
00:55:19,762 --> 00:55:20,546
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1407
00:55:20,546 --> 00:55:21,666
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1408
00:55:21,666 --> 00:55:22,626
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1409
00:55:22,626 --> 00:55:24,066
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1410
00:55:24,066 --> 00:55:25,378
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1411
00:55:25,378 --> 00:55:27,234
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1412
00:55:27,234 --> 00:55:27,922
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1413
00:55:27,922 --> 00:55:29,650
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1414
00:55:29,650 --> 00:55:31,026
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1415
00:55:31,026 --> 00:55:32,006
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1416
00:55:32,006 --> 00:55:32,646
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1417
00:55:32,646 --> 00:55:33,814
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1418
00:55:33,814 --> 00:55:34,946
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1419
00:55:34,946 --> 00:55:35,606
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1420
00:55:35,606 --> 00:55:37,014
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1421
00:55:37,014 --> 00:55:38,054
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1422
00:55:38,054 --> 00:55:38,758
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1423
00:55:38,758 --> 00:55:39,514
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1424
00:55:39,514 --> 00:55:40,474
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1425
00:55:40,474 --> 00:55:42,954
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1426
00:55:42,954 --> 00:55:43,914
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1427
00:55:43,914 --> 00:55:45,206
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1428
00:55:45,206 --> 00:55:46,106
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1429
00:55:46,106 --> 00:55:47,446
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1430
00:55:47,446 --> 00:55:49,946
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1431
00:55:49,946 --> 00:55:50,794
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1432
00:55:50,794 --> 00:55:51,738
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1433
00:55:51,738 --> 00:55:52,378
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1434
00:55:52,378 --> 00:55:52,906
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1435
00:55:52,906 --> 00:55:54,426
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1436
00:55:54,426 --> 00:55:55,406
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1437
00:55:55,406 --> 00:55:56,574
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1438
00:55:56,574 --> 00:55:57,966
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1439
00:55:57,966 --> 00:55:59,486
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1440
00:55:59,486 --> 00:56:00,618
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1441
00:56:00,618 --> 00:56:01,758
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1442
00:56:01,758 --> 00:56:02,286
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1443
00:56:02,286 --> 00:56:02,798
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1444
00:56:02,798 --> 00:56:03,694
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1445
00:56:03,694 --> 00:56:04,734
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1446
00:56:04,734 --> 00:56:05,418
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1447
00:56:05,418 --> 00:56:07,714
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1448
00:56:07,714 --> 00:56:09,220
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1449
00:56:09,220 --> 00:56:10,722
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1450
00:56:10,722 --> 00:56:11,694
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1451
00:56:11,694 --> 00:56:12,546
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1452
00:56:12,546 --> 00:56:13,854
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1453
00:56:13,854 --> 00:56:14,686
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1454
00:56:14,686 --> 00:56:15,266
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1455
00:56:15,266 --> 00:56:16,146
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1456
00:56:16,146 --> 00:56:17,554
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1457
00:56:17,554 --> 00:56:18,194
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1458
00:56:18,194 --> 00:56:18,786
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1459
00:56:18,786 --> 00:56:20,050
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1460
00:56:20,050 --> 00:56:21,318
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1461
00:56:21,318 --> 00:56:22,054
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1462
00:56:22,054 --> 00:56:22,726
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1463
00:56:22,726 --> 00:56:25,026
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1464
00:56:25,026 --> 00:56:25,638
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1465
00:56:25,638 --> 00:56:26,166
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1466
00:56:26,166 --> 00:56:27,110
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1467
00:56:27,110 --> 00:56:27,846
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1468
00:56:27,846 --> 00:56:29,414
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1469
00:56:29,414 --> 00:56:30,246
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1470
00:56:30,246 --> 00:56:31,126
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1471
00:56:31,126 --> 00:56:31,738
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1472
00:56:31,738 --> 00:56:32,666
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1473
00:56:32,666 --> 00:56:33,834
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1474
00:56:33,834 --> 00:56:34,858
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1475
00:56:34,858 --> 00:56:36,474
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1476
00:56:36,474 --> 00:56:38,826
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1477
00:56:38,826 --> 00:56:39,418
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1478
00:56:39,418 --> 00:56:39,946
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1479
00:56:39,946 --> 00:56:40,666
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1480
00:56:40,666 --> 00:56:41,706
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1481
00:56:41,706 --> 00:56:42,138
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1482
00:56:42,138 --> 00:56:42,634
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1483
00:56:42,634 --> 00:56:43,690
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1484
00:56:43,690 --> 00:56:45,318
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1485
00:56:45,318 --> 00:56:45,806
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1486
00:56:45,806 --> 00:56:46,558
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1487
00:56:46,558 --> 00:56:47,374
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1488
00:56:47,374 --> 00:56:48,746
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1489
00:56:48,746 --> 00:56:49,246
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1490
00:56:49,246 --> 00:56:50,894
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1491
00:56:50,894 --> 00:56:51,822
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1492
00:56:51,822 --> 00:56:54,142
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1493
00:56:54,142 --> 00:56:55,600
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1494
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:57,266
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1495
00:56:57,266 --> 00:56:58,018
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1496
00:56:58,018 --> 00:56:58,674
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1497
00:56:58,674 --> 00:56:59,586
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1498
00:56:59,586 --> 00:57:01,940
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1499
00:57:01,940 --> 00:57:04,098
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1500
00:57:04,098 --> 00:57:05,938
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1501
00:57:05,938 --> 00:57:06,934
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1502
00:57:06,934 --> 00:57:09,014
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1503
00:57:09,014 --> 00:57:11,446
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1504
00:57:11,446 --> 00:57:12,454
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1505
00:57:12,454 --> 00:57:13,686
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1506
00:57:13,686 --> 00:57:14,626
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1507
00:57:14,626 --> 00:57:16,582
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1508
00:57:16,582 --> 00:57:18,438
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1509
00:57:18,438 --> 00:57:19,194
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1510
00:57:19,194 --> 00:57:20,038
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1511
00:57:20,038 --> 00:57:21,034
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1512
00:57:21,034 --> 00:57:22,666
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1513
00:57:22,666 --> 00:57:23,926
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1514
00:57:23,926 --> 00:57:25,654
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1515
00:57:25,654 --> 00:57:28,058
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1516
00:57:28,058 --> 00:57:30,646
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1517
00:57:30,646 --> 00:57:31,774
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1518
00:57:31,774 --> 00:57:33,226
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1519
00:57:33,226 --> 00:57:34,586
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1520
00:57:34,586 --> 00:57:35,886
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1521
00:57:35,886 --> 00:57:37,626
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1522
00:57:37,626 --> 00:57:39,946
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1523
00:57:39,946 --> 00:57:41,246
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1524
00:57:41,246 --> 00:57:43,886
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1525
00:57:43,886 --> 00:57:44,926
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1526
00:57:44,926 --> 00:57:45,826
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1527
00:57:45,826 --> 00:57:47,074
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1528
00:57:47,074 --> 00:57:48,130
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1529
00:57:48,130 --> 00:57:49,666
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1530
00:57:49,666 --> 00:57:50,338
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1531
00:57:50,338 --> 00:57:51,186
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1532
00:57:51,186 --> 00:57:53,554
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1533
00:57:53,554 --> 00:57:54,546
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1534
00:57:54,546 --> 00:57:55,314
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1535
00:57:55,314 --> 00:57:56,258
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1536
00:57:56,258 --> 00:57:57,090
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1537
00:57:57,090 --> 00:57:59,590
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1538
00:57:59,590 --> 00:58:01,800
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1539
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:03,446
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1540
00:58:03,446 --> 00:58:03,986
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1541
00:58:03,986 --> 00:58:04,774
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1542
00:58:04,774 --> 00:58:05,654
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1543
00:58:05,654 --> 00:58:06,934
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1544
00:58:06,934 --> 00:58:07,686
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1545
00:58:07,686 --> 00:58:09,094
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1546
00:58:09,094 --> 00:58:10,746
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1547
00:58:10,746 --> 00:58:11,786
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1548
00:58:11,786 --> 00:58:13,674
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1549
00:58:13,674 --> 00:58:14,842
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1550
00:58:14,842 --> 00:58:15,626
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1551
00:58:15,626 --> 00:58:17,082
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1552
00:58:17,082 --> 00:58:18,394
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1553
00:58:18,394 --> 00:58:20,138
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1554
00:58:20,138 --> 00:58:21,402
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1555
00:58:21,402 --> 00:58:22,138
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1556
00:58:22,138 --> 00:58:24,198
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1557
00:58:24,198 --> 00:58:25,166
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1558
00:58:25,166 --> 00:58:26,026
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1559
00:58:26,026 --> 00:58:27,466
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1560
00:58:27,466 --> 00:58:27,966
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1561
00:58:27,966 --> 00:58:28,494
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1562
00:58:28,494 --> 00:58:30,574
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1563
00:58:30,574 --> 00:58:32,206
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1564
00:58:32,206 --> 00:58:32,926
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1565
00:58:32,926 --> 00:58:34,382
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1566
00:58:34,382 --> 00:58:35,374
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1567
00:58:35,374 --> 00:58:37,694
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1568
00:58:37,694 --> 00:58:39,214
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1569
00:58:39,214 --> 00:58:40,478
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1570
00:58:40,478 --> 00:58:41,594
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1571
00:58:41,594 --> 00:58:42,862
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1572
00:58:42,862 --> 00:58:43,566
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1573
00:58:43,566 --> 00:58:44,430
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1574
00:58:44,430 --> 00:58:46,198
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1575
00:58:46,198 --> 00:58:48,006
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1576
00:58:48,006 --> 00:58:48,950
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1577
00:58:48,950 --> 00:58:50,662
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1578
00:58:50,662 --> 00:58:52,678
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1579
00:58:52,678 --> 00:58:53,782
undefined undefined undefined undefined

1580
00:58:53,782 --> 00:58:54,980
undefined undefined undefined undefined